Excerpts and Blobs

I have lots of little things to say.

• Hooray for a Job! I picked up 2 extra shifts this week. ~Somehow, this seems reminiscent of my entry into the Noodles world… With the excellent 4 hour shifts that I have been offered this month, three of which I knock off this week, I am all set for 16 hours this week. That’s as much as I accumulate in 3 standard workweeks!!! So, after working Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, of this week, I will rest happy, keep myself busy, earn money, and be all worn out, tired enough to plop down to my research paper without the energy for complaints and procrastination of which habitually disrupt my productivity.

• Studded Snow Tires are illegal in Minnesota, so I’m told. I know for a fact that you can’t buy them anywhere in the state. In choosing between breaking the law and saving my life on an icy road, I’d go with breaking the law. Besides, it will stimulate the economy if my tires tear up the road and they need to hire more people to repave it. The roads here are in such pathetic condition, they won’t notice more damage anyways!

• Research Paper – due in 9 days! I have a few sources… not that I dislike this paper, per say, I just am not motivated for it. My topic is Barcelona and their maritime practices in the Middle Ages. Does anyone know anyone who specializes in this kind of stuff who has a similar writing style to that in which I ramble? I’m not a cheater… Simply put: I think others could benefit from this assignment more than I. I’m not arrogant… Easily stated: I am a very confidant slacker.

• I have discovered that I like Petrarch. Though I may not agree with the principles of the Renaissance or of Humanism, his writing style appeals to me, that is, after it has been translated from Latin to English. Kind of reminds me of Michel de Montaigne… insightful, direct, and unpresumptuous.

• I had a GREAT time in Denver over Thanksgiving! I wish I were back. Now I’m homesick, lonely, lost, and apathetic. It doesn’t help that they’ve already got at least a foot of snow more than what Minnesota has received this year! Best snowboarding season on record –and I’m stuck in a pigsty of liberal maladroits participating in the biggest educational rip-off of the 21^st century with no snow, no mountains, and no legal snow tires. Welcome to purgatory. I’m atoning for the sin of leaving Colorful Colorado with a four-year sentence.

Duct Tape

Hooray, hooray! Gus is fixed! ---well, on the way to being fixed. Volvos generally don't have anything wrong with them, ever, but mine is in need of a little... Well... Improvement?

Now the passenger door opens from the outside AND the inside! Always a plus. -Turns out a part was missing... I couldn't figure out how the part went back on, or even if the chunk of metal I held in my hand was the correct part, so I taped the hinge pieces together. Its on the inside, no one will notice. All I had was electrical tape *me being too lazy to walk back to the dorm to get duct tape* So now I can butcher the old joke (see link in title). Here we go: "Why is electrical tape NOT like the Force?" -"It has a dark side and another dark side, and it holds my car together."

Yes, I know, I'm not the next Jay Leno. Sorry.

BTW, those of you that think I don't blog often enough... Check my other pages: Little Lessons and Travels, cuz sometimes I will write there and not on the main page. You gotta stay on your toes in this game!

A Blatant Disregard for Anyone but the Self

Have you ever heard the expression “the world is coming to an end”?

People usually say it when they hear about horrible atrocities committed in a locale outside their sphere of influence. Expressing desperation at mankind’s growing cold hearted, ruthless, bloody, and inconsiderate manner, references to the end of the world embody a universal frustration with the ignorant, the selfish, the brutal, and the ignoble.

Instructors at driving schools nationwide caution their pupils to be wary of aggressive drivers. Ski Patrol associations at resorts post signs and warnings to promote skiing or riding under control. Within the last century, it has been made possible to persecute someone for reckless endangerment, vehicular homicide, and for causing death through reckless skiing or riding. People today are increasingly more selfish, aggressive, demanding, violent, and unaware of those who are their fellow passengers to the grave.

– Driving to Minneapolis last Wednesday, I was passed by a gangsta in a black Mitsubishi Eclipse who, after tailgating me, changed lanes and blew past me at 75 mph. I was scared shitless when the black blob of turbo-charged POS that suddenly appeared in my mirror, and even more so when he started playing mind games with me, speeding up, slowing down, backing into me at stoplights.

– On the ski slopes this year, I saw a snowboarder jump a slow sign opening day at Copper Mountain. Luckily for him, ski patrol was right there and pulled him over. Since then, I’ve been cut off in line by boarders and skiers while trying to get on a lift. I’ve also been part of a near collision in which a skier, speeding straight down the mountain, dove between my sister and me as we were passing each other headed in opposite directions with about 10 inches between us at the time.

– On my flight back to Minnesota today, the plane was filled with screaming children. The parents didn’t seem to do much about it. So, the family three rows in front of me switched seats five or six times, their toddler tried to fall asleep in the aisle, and the dad stood in the aisle a few rows back carrying on a conversation while the fasten seatbelt sign was on. Then, the guy in front of me couldn’t sit still. His sudden movements pinched my finger while letting down my tray table. While I was napping on the tray table, he constantly rocked back and forth, banging his seat into my head, and pinching it between table and mount. Finally, when I had given up napping, his rocking motions kept pushing my laptop closed. If people don’t let their children bounce on the seats (thankfully, no one did) what sense does it make to let an adult do so? The last straw was the personal mini DVD player a few rows away with the volume up. If you’re going to listen to your music, use headphones. If you’re going to watch a movie, do the same!

Ever wonder why this is?

What Did the Turkey Do?

It’s Thanksgiving. That means it’s the time of the year when millions of turkeys in farms across the country are slaughtered, frozen, and sold for 70 cents a pound. (No, I'm NOT a vegan!) College students from around the country fly or drive home to visit their parents. And the whole world, it seems, eats too much, sits back and undoes their belt buckle, talking all the while about football, politics, or family friends.

I'm home. I ate turkey; probably the moistest turkey we've had in while. I ate stuffing. It was good. So was the cranberry salad; gotta love those marshmallows! My sister made the mashed potatoes- I think I have found the flaw in her impeccable cooking, though her homemade pies were excellent, down to the pumpkin filling artfully scraped from a can. *The crust was 100% homemade.* Then I sat around and talked politics, the downfall of American culture, and books. Now I'm blogging. (no, really?)

Congratulations to me. Does that mean I'm finally starting to fit in?

I'm home. I ate turkey; probably the most moist turkey we've had in while. I ate stuffing. It was good. So was the cranberry salad; gotta love those marshmellows! My sister made the mashed potatoes- I think I have found the flaw in her impeccable cooking, though her homemade pies were excellent, down to the pumkin filling artfully scraped from a can. *The crust was 100% homemade.* Then I sat around and talked politics, the downfall of American culture, and books. Now I'm blogging. (no, really?)

Congratulations to me. Does that mean I'm finally starting to fit in.

An Arguement for Apartment-Style College Dorms

"I find TV very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." -Groucho Marx

My roommate has a TV. I have no other room in which to go and read.

Why I'm Not a College Democrat

"I'd rather be in the right than in the majority." -Craig DeBiase

Homework

Why is everyone asking me when I do my homework?

I'm in college. That means I pay $27,000 a year to live on my own with practically unlimited free time away from my parents. I do homework all the time. Since I don't socialize, I need something to keep me occupied. I do homework in the two hours between classes. I do homework in the afternoons, in the evenings, late at night, and not so late at night. My grades are fine. Really?

I've been a good girl. Can I have a job now?

Shin Splints, Shoes, and Speed Walkers

I need to find a college that will not give me shin splints as I walk around campus.

Or maybe I just need a new pair of shoes.

I'll go with the college thing. Transferring is a lot less embarrassing than being seen in a shoe store. If shopping were meant to be fun, everyone would wear the exact same clothes and we'd all be ordering them from a catalog.

Seriously though, if my legs keep hurting this much, they're gonna be hurting when I'm not even on my feet. I remember well from the time I used steel-toed work shoes for the entire hockey preseason during dry land practices how miserable it feels.

Of course, if I were taller I wouldn't be having this problem. My legs only hurt when I walk to and from classes and try to keep up with the group I'm walking with. Minnesotans walk extremely fast! I think it's instinctive of people who are always tring to get inside to escape cold temperatures. A longer stride would require less effort. Or I could just walk at my own pace. Then I'd have to walk on the grass to avoid being run over. Hey, I've always been told that I walk to the beat of my own drum and that I never walk the beaten path. I should take those metaphorically intended words to heart!

The success of Testing Tuesday in Togas

We had a test today. One of the joys of being in Curriculum Two, this college’s non-honors honors program, is that they occasionally load the world on your shoulders in an effort to “weed out the bad ones,” so to speak. {There are also lots of real joys such as bloody broomball competitions, field trips, overnight retreats, complimentary coffee and doughnuts…etc.} This week, a paper was due yesterday. A test in that same class was scheduled for today, and tomorrow, another test is scheduled for a different class that is in the same program. Stress city! It’s ok though. The material we have covered isn’t very hard. Actually, since I’ve studied it many many times before, it’s not hard at all. Thank you Mr. Lenzini, Mr. Engstrom, Mr. Moran, Mr., Flanagan, and all those great religion and history teachers I’ve encountered over the years in Catholic grade school!

So anyways, about the test today- All four sections of my History/Western Civ class met in one of the banquet rooms in the campus center to take this test on Rome: The Roman Monarchy, the Roman Republic, and the Roman Empire. We decided to take our learning to heart and do something odd and fun that only C-Two students do…

Seeing as Romans wore togas, we, The Toga Committee sent out an email encouraging the 64 people in the class to wrap themselves in bed sheets for the test. Unfortunately, we ended up sending the email to our teachers, so it wasn’t a surprise, but the day was still amusing. We actually had about twenty people show up wrapped in blue, green, yellow, cherry print, and fluorescently polka-dotted sheets. Some of them stayed up better than others. *Woe to the short persons who kept tripping over the hems of theirs. Woe also to those who had no pin to secure their sheet in a stable position. * It went remarkably well, all things considered, and was a lot of fun.

As for the test itself… We’re not going to talk about that.

Super-Gluing the Substitute Smother Mother

In response to my roommate's recent need to organize, and the incredible decrease in the size of my personal space, I have taken advice from various sources, and I have determined that the only way to protect my dignity is to take matters into my own hands.

I am going to super-glue all of my belongings into a permanent state in the location they currently occupy. That way, The Roommate will still be able to rearrange however she wants. Her items will be free to roam around the room unlimitedly in the confined space. Too bad the closets and dresser are shared... Otherwise, I would glue one of them down on my side, reinforcing it with a duct-tape bond to all of my other super-glued items. Too bad the only open space on my side is in front of the door. Now, whom do I lock out and whom do I glue in?

Yesterday, to escape the distracting and oppressive atmosphere on campus, I drove down to Mankato, parking myself in my favorite coffee shop for six hours and working diligently until I erased my two-day homework deficit and achieved a one-day advantage. So, doing three days of homework in one sitting, I avoided the unglamorous campus life which so disturbs me and reached a state of extreme productivity. When I returned to campus, spent an hour in the cafeteria, and finally entered the dorm, my roommate *who was on the phone* ignored me. Okay. I can deal with that. It happens with frequency. Then, out of nowhere, she began yelling. "Where were you? I was worried about you! I thought you were dead! Next time, just call or something, okay?"

Yes Mother.

What a shock. I thought she didn't care. Hmm... I guess she does. That could present a problem. I thought that we had a sort of noncommittal and un-confrontational relationship.

I'm sick of dealing with people who are that caring and worried. I am in college. I answer to my report card. If you really care about me that much, call me. My phone works, and it receives text messages too!

Electronic Misery

It’s supposed to be blue funk week! In theory, though not yet in reality, for this supposed blue funk week has yet to become blue and funky. It’s more like a gray and drab week. The weather is to damn warm for Minnesota in November. Its not even sweatshirt weather today! Da HELL? Nothing of note has happened in any classes. The activities have been mundane but tolerable- Group work, which of course turns into socializing: A mindless activity at the first year college level. Lectures: I'm not awake to know if they are good, so we will assume that they are blah, similar to the other lectures we receive in this corrupt and impersonal institution. A Test: Once again, something that neither challenges the intellect nor punishes the unprepared. Epiphany: The roommate has an obsession with reorganizing.

Last night, I sat miserably and watched the roommate draw out THREE different plans for how she (I hesitate to use the word "we") will arrange our room over the next semester. I like it now. We rearranged about a month ago, and quite frankly, I am very happy with the room the way it was. {It no longer IS. She rearranged.} We seem to have more space in the middle now. Really, due to recent events, we seem to have more space in general. That is, you can look around and notice the effects of Hurricane Meghan, who hasn't had classes in the last four days, with greater ease. Red Cross Katy has not been around to provide disaster relief. Perhaps my presence would have made no difference. Perhaps it would have. The 'If Onlys' won't get me anywhere, but they sure are nice when one has to face a constant shift in the things one tries to take comfort in their consistency. Ahh, if only I could lie on the futon. If only I had access to the space atop my side of the closets.
*Let me explain why I have lost my space atop the closets. The TV, that evil talking box that has the power to render man a slobbering blob and has, as of yet, NOT been removed from my sanctuary, is now atop The Roommate's side of the closets. Her disaster of personal items has splashed across the territory of this corner of Section 3A. She now has a greater proximity to her evil machine, and has been able to get reception on a greater variety of channels to a more pleasing degree. Though I cannot see this damn box as easily from my shrinking territory, its voice and scathing portrayals of shallow idiocy scream in my direction with more frequency than ever before, turning this week into a bluer shade of gray.

Caribou Coffee, here I come! As soon as I am paid this month, I will seek shelter in a Mummy Bag from Cabelas after cleaning out the back seat of my car, and fixing the passenger door, which refuses to open from the inside. It seems that the characteristics of the occupants of this room have engaged in a dramatic Peripety. Sadly, though I seem to be the independent, outgoing, and social one, I still feel Pathetic.

The Black Void

I really hate how there is no morality, no right and wrong, no better and worse here. Only what is makes YOU feel good. Well,
*Driving my car at excessive speeds makes me feel good.
*Not doing my homework
*Burning myself
*Defying authority
*Beating up arrogant and querulous bastards
*Walking around by myself at two in the morning
*Criticizing others
MAKES ME FEEL GOOD!

Sometimes, it seems that doing things that make you feel good aren't socially acceptable.

If learning new, interesting, or important things in and honest, in-depth, and unbiased manner makes me feel good too, does that mean they are probably detrimental to my physical and mental health as well?

Anecdotes

These are some comments that I made in past weeks. I share them now, so that they may do more than take up space on my hard drive. -Or perhaps the chalk dust is getting to me. I seem to have an acquired immunity to dry erase markers, but not chalk.

There's hope for my roommate. She didn't close the window or turn off the fan last night. Only closed the drapes, which effectively cut off ventilation. We woke up to the St. Peter High school marching band this morning. Through the open window. They have practice at 7:00 on Friday mornings. Poor guys. It stinks to be the people in our section with rooms facing the high school football field. Well, better put, sometimes it just sucks to not have an 8:00 class. Those of us who do were already awake when band practice started. We don't have to worry about falling asleep with that din for another hour or so. I never thought there would be an advantage to having class first thing in the morning. Of course, if I lived on the other side of the building, I wouldn't have that problem. Yet, our side always gets the nice breezes, is away from the bird-filled trees, and never gets direct sun in the window. It’s definitely the better side to be on. Except for that wonderful view of a brick wall outside the window... Hey, if we look to the left we see a softball field, the high school, and the marching band practice grounds. Darn, vicious cycle.

Hooray Spanish. As my roommate would say, "my teacher is on Crack!" (Crack is her way of describing anything out of the ordinary, the mundane, or the conservative, non-secular world) This guy is very hyper. He seriously only spends 65% of class time on the ground. Jumping and flying are his secondary areas of expertise; the activities of the Columbian Narcos are his first. Being that he is from Columbia, he is always speaking of tequila, Dos Equis, and cocaina. In Spanish. We don't speak English in that class... when we do, he draws a mark on our sleeves or shoulders, and says the Narco's are gonna knock us off after class. (The teacher next door is very noisy, always pounding on the Chalkboard, and through the thin walls, we say that the Narco's are working their way through the building.) All of it is in jest of course. In addition, I have been marked every day in a week, and I'm still alive. The system seems to be flawed. Like DeBiase, this guy believes that class is not worth attending if you don’t have at least one bit of fun in it, and that you learn better when you are happy. Gaston, however, enacts that principle to a better and more productive extent. Number one thing that I have learned in that class: "chalk" is the English work for cocaine. Don't worry; I haven't started snorting chalk dust yet. (Just Kidding!)

Elledge and Modern Education

It is indeed sad, that in this day and age, America's College Students "want" an education that has the Divine removed from religion, the morality removed from Ethics, and the act of judgment removed from the process of independent thinking!

In Biblical Traditions, our Curriculum II Sequence is receiving one aspect of a complete liberal arts education. As implied by the title, the topic of study is The Bible, the oldest and most revered book in Western Civilization. Indeed, the western world is so dependant and grateful to the Judeo-Christian tradition that the Bible was the first book ever printed upon the advent of the invention of the printing press. All scholars who have received a comprehensive liberal arts education are familiar with the Bible, and this remarkable book sells millions of copies yearly, despite its venerable age, measurable in millennia. It is therefore understandable that we study the bible in a challenging liberal arts program at a Lutheran school.

Wait, something’s wrong here! I can tell you about the influence of “the Deity” or YAH-WHEH in the lives of the Hebrew people. I can describe a city as it was set up in biblical times from an archeological perspective. I can tell you how every type of food was prepared, except for fish. No one seems to know how Moses cooked his fish. Yet while attending a Lutheran College, I cannot say that I am guided towards or even meant to growing in my faith. If this is the case, that more value is placed in the knowledge of science and history than the development of the human being in a mental and spiritual context, why am I being educated?

If Kerry Wins... I'm moving to Mexico

As my roommate succinctly put it, "Its not that I'm anti-Kerry, it’s that I'm pro-America."

I'd agree. Since four years of Kerry's incompetent rule would erase what we now as America from the face of the civilized world, I might as well move to Mexico now and get that citizenship thing all straightened out. Vincente Fox, that’s my man! (Go Coca Cola!) But Mexico is on the way up. They've started to get rid of their slums, poverty, and all that. They're starting to enter the world economy in a bigger, more positive way. They're getting rid of their debt. Their citizens are industrious and hardworking, don't object to menial tasks, place value in familial relationships, and still believe in God, as a whole. I think I'll like living there. Besides, I'll be speaking Spanish there, which is like being in Heaven.

I should hurry up and post this. Perhaps by the time blogger processes my request, the vote will be decided. I congratulate all you conservatives. Thanks for going out to vote, and for standing up for what is right. I console all you liberals. Thanks for doing your civic duty, standing up for your beliefs, and voting as well. I shall be here, waiting with congratulations and open arms to welcome you in, once you mature and find the truth that man, instinctively, and so avidly seeks.

Literary Me!

~Kinda like "Magical Me,"
---but I would hope that I am not quite as arrogant as the Gilderoy Lockhart of the children's book series
"Harry Potter and the blah blah blah.”

I've written a lot recently, well, more than is customary. But then, what is custom, since randomness and irregularity power this spontaneous and rather dull lifestyle? It doesn't seem like that much to me... at least right now. But then the effects of staying up until 2:30 this morning writing haven't set in yet! I'm sure you all, or most, or some, or a few of you are glad I'm posting... It's very nice, after all to see that other people have written new stuff. `Gives you something to read when you're surfing the WWW in class (or else where, cuz who in their right mind would be online in class when there are so many interesting things to be learned if you just pay attention?)

So yes... Browse to your heart's content. Leave me comments!!! I'd love to hear from ya! ~and make sure you check out my "Globe Trotting" and "Little Lessons" sections. In them, I proudly present more ramblings from this Village Idiot's jumbled mind, but in a more categorical setup {if you want to call it that!}

In the meantime, I must go shower. They are planning to turn off the hot water today. I must bathe before then. Besides, I've finally gotten over my fear of excercise machines and working out with other people around. My fear of being the slowest, weakest one on the mountain convinced me to get rid of my summer legs! Pain builds character. I'd rather build character now than waste my time on the slopes doing so when I could be having fun. Besides, the janitor isn't due for another hour and there is no one in the dorm right now. What better time than now?