Nagging Thoughts

It’s been a recent acquisition, but the thought "I'm gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life" has been circling through my head like vultures. Whether it be a move, a class failed, a car crash, beginning or ending a friendship, forgetting to send a card to a close friend and cancer patient before they die, or being fired from a job, events will have a life-long impact. And I am just realizing this. It happens to everyone, I suppose, but why does it have to hit me now? I'm just a college first year, and I am much too young for this. But still, why do I keep wondering whether, upon looking back on my life, I will want to say "You idiot, you should have tried harder in Spanish." "You fool, why did you let that friendship die?" "You quitter, you should have toughed it out at that school!” Or will I want to say, "That'll do self, that'll do." "You really came through there." "I never thought I'd see you doing this well."
I went through my midlife crisis Junior year of high school. What is this, the "Two years after mid-life crisis Crisis?" Or maybe it takes getting hit by a locomotive called change (and some inhaled asbestos) to make one acutely aware of such depressing insights.
I am going to leave now and continue my efforts to suppress my coughing and hope that my lungs stay in my chest all night. I'm running out of PowerAde and cough drops.