The Village Idiot

We Salute You

2011-01-18T00:05:00.000-06:00

I had my first experience with "human remains" at the airport today. They told us about it in training, how sometimes soldiers who died overseas are shipped home, and you must be very careful about keeping the wooden boxes right side up in the belly of the plane. They also have to be the first thing off the plane, and you have to be very respectful. Its rather erie, if you think about it.

Today, as Bill was closing up the cargo nets after James and I had brought the last two gate checks (2 guitars) down from the jet bridge, I saw a large convoy of police cars coming towards us down the VSR. There were two Expeditions with flashing lights in front followed by a hearse, a large gray van with soldiers inside (I saw the insignias on their sleeves through the tinted windows) and four more police SUVS. James stopped and saluted as they drove by, and I did the same. We're not military, either of us, but it just felt right.

The convoy proceeded down to one of the gates American Airlines uses, and waited for a while. I don't think their plane came in before ours pushed back, but I'm pretty sure I saluted an empty hearse. But, at the time, it felt like the reverent thing to do, standing there in my baggy snowpants and my bright orange vest.

I wonder how we'd react if such a convoy greeted one of our planes. Would the usually irreverent baggage handlers among us snap out of it? Some of us are ex-military. Either way, I'm sure such proceedings would give us a delay. Would we be able to "turn it and burn it" like usual afterward? Would the ops people understand?

Facepalm

2010-09-30T23:13:00.000-05:00

I'm talking to a friend who is currently getting a Master's Degree at Luther Seminary in Minneapolis/St. Paul.

This week, she "learned" that, "apparently there are many gods, Yahweh being one of them, which are all expression of the ancient god El."

She tells me:

"One student in my small group told me that hieroglyphics definitively prove the existence of other gods and that the gods exist in a tiered system of which the Christian God just happens to be the most important.

I asked her if she has ever professed the Nicene Creed."

Pretty witty, you say, right?

Wait till you hear what the gal's response was!

"She wanted to know what the Nicene Creed had to do with it. *facepalm!"

To echo the sentiments of the old Professor in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, "I wonder what they do teach them at these schools."

2010-07-26T23:34:00.002-05:00

" You worship God in your way and I'll worship Him in His."

-Rev. Know-It-All

"homosexualist"

2010-07-22T17:37:00.001-05:00

Will someone please tell LifeSiteNews that "homosexualist" isn't a word?

2010-07-15T11:28:00.000-05:00

So what is this saying? Perhaps that people aren't born gay? And if they aren't born gay, we've just entered into the dangerous world of choice. And if that is the case, then what basis can you argue for gay marriage upon?

Religious Referee

2010-06-23T10:53:00.002-05:00

Fathers Day, Part II

2010-06-20T23:22:00.001-05:00

"When a man can put aside his plans in order that another may thrive and prosper, then he exercises true fatherhood."

-Fr. Tom Carzon, OMV

I find it mildly amusing...

2010-06-20T20:02:00.000-05:00

...that prominently displayed in the newspaper machine in front of the King Soopers i just left was a Safeway ad claiming "we have the lowest prices!"

2010-06-19T01:04:00.003-05:00

How ironic is it that pride fest -in some ways the product of the "fatherless generation-" is being held in Denver on Father's day weekend?

Those who are not fathers, those whose children do not have fathers, and those whose very attitudes were produced by a fatherless society --- what are they celebrating? Do they feel left out? Is it a type of rebellion?

2010-06-18T19:01:00.002-05:00

"Niech zstąpi Duch Twój i odnowi oblicze ziemi tej."

-JP II in Poland, June 1979

2010-06-13T21:41:00.002-05:00

"It is not the deed but the intention of the doer which makes the crime, and justice should weigh not what was done but the spirit in which it is done."

-Heloise in "Letters of Abelard and Heloise"

Rant

2010-04-22T10:42:00.001-05:00

Moving Day!

2005-08-22T00:27:00.000-05:00

Hey All! I moved! With the help of Wonderful friend Jon, I've got my own domain name, and can now publish without ever having to worry about those damn error messages from blogger, while not worrying about slow posting and overcrowded servers and stuff.

So come visit me at www.alyoshka.com! Same rants and raves, new background and font color! :{)

p.s. that means this address will be more or less dead now, so change your links and bookmarks.

One sheep, two sheep, three o'clock, four

2005-07-22T14:55:00.000-05:00

I have nothing to live for. I woke up today at noon, and didn't get out of bed until 1:30. I don't have to be at work till four, I only have to medicate one mouse, check on one cat, and eat one meal. And I couldn't fall asleep last night either. Possibly, this whoe getting up late is screwing with my schedule, but on the days I don't work early, I cannot drag myself out of bed before noon. There is no purpose. The mouse will get medicated sometime, and with five days of treatement done and five days left, he is itching less and running around more.
I would like to think that work is the paradise I came home for. But its not. Each time, I prove myself an idiot, the Village Idiot, Jefferson Village. They must see something, cuz they keep me around, but I don't see it, other than as a list of abysmal percentages. School starts soon, and I won't have any money to pay for books or to buy myself some solitude at the neighborhood coffeeshop. THis whole having a housemate thing isn't so great either. Like having a roommate but there is more room for them to ditch their shit for you to trip over. And then my housemate keeps just walking into my room. Hello! Its my room, its where I go when I want some "me-time." Maybe I should have thought more than twice when deciding to move in with my best friend and extra appendage. No longer is my space my space, and its (also) my own damn fault. Good ole days of Wahlstrom, I miss you!(though I like my new airconditioner, especially since it hasn't been below 100 this whole week.

Heigh Ho

2005-03-21T09:15:00.000-06:00

Its off to Des Moines we go! I'm trying to fly home for spring break, and thats about the only airport that can get me there. Seats to Denver are a very rare commodity everywhere this time of year! A four hour drive for the chance to not drive 14? I can go for that. Lets hope they have some reasonably priced long term parking!

Which Thomas?

2005-03-21T03:02:00.000-06:00

I'm getting Confirmed on Thursday! It is time to celebrate. And also time for a trip to the confessional!

Girl Scout Night at the Mall of America

2005-03-21T02:29:00.000-06:00

This Friday, Minnesota suffered from a snowstorm. It wasn't a bad snowstorm; I've driven in worse back home in the mountains. It was bad enough, apparently to warrant the closing of campus at noon, and for MNDOT to advise against all travel on highways in Nicollet, Sibley, Blue Earth, and Le Sueur Counties. Class being cancelled was the only bright spot in my day. I didn't have to ditch Spanish to drive up to the cities.

My best friend from home was scheduled to fly in Friday night. Her plane was to have taken off at 3, and landed at six. With all that damn snow, reduced visibility, and poor driving conditions, her plane was delayed until 5:30. And then until 11:30. Thankfully, they were able to board at 8 and take off at 9. That way, I didn't have to wait as long.

I left campus around 2:30, as I wasn't sure how long it would take me to drive the 80 miles to the cities in the "horrible weather." The roads weren't bad, I took it slow, I have illegal snow tires, and like I said, I've driven in worse. I got up to the cities by 4. Thinking I'd only have to kill an hour or so before heading out to the airport, I stopped by the Mall of America to find a coffee shop and maybe get some homework done.

I wound up spending close to 7 hours there.

I went to the Apple store, and looked at laptops. I went to Caribou Coffee, bought a hot chocolate, and tried to read my book. I stopped by the Yankee Candle Company, and bought a candle. I talked to my friend for at least 3 hours, as she was marooned in DIA and I was marooned in the MOA. I went to the official Mall of America Gift store and bought three model cars with the MOA logo on them, an official MOA candle for my sister, and a postcard for my boss. I ate at the food court. Since it was a Friday, and Lent isn't over yet, I bought Long John Silver's instead of Panda Express, and nearly got myself sick on the grease of it all, while coming down with a mild case of heartburn. By this time, I had walked through the amusement park section of the mall many many times and noticed the signs that said "Camp Snoopy will close at 9:30 for a private party." And so, to get from the East Neighborhood to the West Neighborhood (or maybe it was the south to the north. Or with my sense of direction, from the west to the south) I once again walked through Camp Snoopy, and began to notice the Girl Scouts. Starbucks being my next stop, I was quite depressed to find the comfy chairs occupied by a troop of Girl Scouts and their screaming mothers. But they left after I made snide remarks about loud and obnoxious people into my cell phone. So I and my Chantico settled into a comfy chair and read for a while.

Then Starbucks closed. It was 10:00 after all, and the rest of the mall was either closed for the night or packed with screaming brownies. (The bars in the mall were open until 2am, but bars are not where I like to go for a little bit of piece and quiet while reading.) I wandered around quite a bit more. I couldn't remember where I had left my car. But I finally left, and this ended my long incarceration in the American Gulag. Have I ever mentioned that I hate malls?

My friend's plane landed at midnight, we got back to the dorm at 1:30. The next night I drove her back for a 7:00 flight. She got to spend less than 24 hours here because of that DAMN Snowstorm!

According to the MSP website, they can handle a famous Minnesnowta storm expertly. If that be the case, why did they close the airport for a while last Friday?

I Went and Saw a Play

2005-03-20T23:55:00.000-06:00

Last Wednesday, I went to see a play in The Cities with my friend Jon. The Guthrie Theatre was putting on Shakespeare's As You Like It, and the school got cheap tickets and provided a bus for the journey. There was a fiasco with the bus, mainly that it broke down, and they had to send another one, which meant we left campus much later than intended. But once that was all taken care of, the 10 or 11 of us boarded the very large charter bus and departed.

The Guthrie is a very modern theatre. From all appearances, one would draw this conclusion. The architecture of the place is very very modern looking; I would doubt there are many straight lines, right angles, or other signs of conventional architecture about the place. The plays put on there are similarly inclined. Though one usually expects to find Ganymede (ironically the name of our college server, or one of them) in a medieval forest, this time we encountered him/her in a psychedelic forest of splendid color, tie died shirts, and amazing sunglasses. One wouldn't really have thought this was Shakespeare. The "thou's," "prithee's," and "soft's" gave the authorship away, but the rest of it seemed more lively and realistic than all those Shakespeare plays we read in high school.

I didn't know Shakespeare wrote songs either. He did, Jon checked. They are all in the text of the play. But, we agreed, he didn't write them very well. The fact that no music was ever officially written for them doesn't help either. Thus, we heard some wonderful singing, and we also heard some less than remarkable stuff. I took objection to the Whoopee Goldberg figure that pranced around the stage with a microphone. I did enjoy, however, the chant "Dummy Duke Dummy Duke." It reminded me of sophomore year of high school "Stupid Frank, Stupid Frank." Poor Gamby. Oh well. My sister is having problems with him now too. Perhaps the idiot just can't get along with Republican Progeny..."

That was a tangent. I enjoyed the Guthrie, though it didn't seem as professional or homey as the Temple Hoyne Buel of the DCPA. There is something to be said for being a patron of the arts, and there is pleasure to be extracted from seeing and not just reading Shakespeare. I got back and the night was gone, but that is a sign of a good play. And I was able to make up the viewing of Konchalovsky's The Inner Circle for Modern Russia tonight, so I did not suffer much by that nocturnal excursion.

Oh, and they had some really good chocolate cake stuff there. We ate it at intermission. Thanks Jon!

In the MOA

2005-03-18T16:54:00.000-06:00

I'm in the Mall of America, at the Apple store, looking at laptops. And you can get online while test drving a 12 inch powerbook, among other things... How cool is that?!

All Hail Professor T!

2005-03-18T12:02:00.000-06:00

He served us from a big platter that was carried around the room like a professional waiter. And we took a test, a big essay test. I wrote about the one word that described the 18th Century. My word was "Bipolar" and Jon's word was "Futility." Can you say, "we really like studying Western Civ"?

I Did Laundry

2005-03-18T02:18:00.000-06:00

and clean socks can't fix broken spirits.

Hacking away at the list

2005-03-16T16:37:00.000-06:00

I finished the paper, that big bullshit paper, on Aristotle and lots of other dudes. It was very boring. I can't belive I was given such an asinine prompt at the college level.

I am still out of socks. So to speak. That means I will have to dig into my store of ankle socks. You don't wear ankle socks in winter in Minnesota. Especially not when there's supposed to be 8-10 inches of snow falling sometime soon; the stuff that goes up your pant legs just isn't pleasant. I still haven't found the laundry room.

Now i just must read lots of books, study for lots of tests, and write lots of papers. Go me! Not really!

A Laundry List

2005-03-15T00:35:00.000-06:00

I am out of socks! Oh darn... I still don't know where the laundry room in this building is.
But more than laundry, here is a list of what I need to do.

1. Write big bullshit paper about Aristotle that compares (bad sign, very bad sign! No original thought involved) him to lots of other stuff, and is 5-6 pages. Due Weds.

2. Study for test about Western Civ (very broad and boring topic) that will be very big test and happen for 2 hours on friday.

3. Study for test on Modern Russia, prepared by same guy who makes Western Civ test... to occur sometime next week.

4. Write 5 page essay on "place" and "home" to be turned in before spring break.

5. Find time to watch Russian movie I will be not seeing on Wednesday becuase I am going to see very good play in very good place with very good friend.

6. Email Lenzini and figure out how to defend the priesthood to protestants, since I can't justify stuff by saying "its just right" or "how could it be any other way?"

7. Clean room so that best friend who visits this weekend will recieve favorable impression of my 8x10 jail cell with a real windowsill and closets. Yes, CLOSETS! HOORAY CLOSETS!

Fact

2005-03-13T22:13:00.000-06:00

According to David Remnick, who wrote the book "Lenin's Tomb,"

"The leading cause of house fires in the Soviet Union was television sets that exploded spontanously."

I'm glad to live in the United S of A, where we don't have to deal with Russian Televisions. All of our TV's come from Japan.

Hmm... Sounds a little too close to Russia to be comfortable....

Oh wait, I don't own a TV!

Lighting

2005-03-12T19:28:00.000-06:00

The rope lights are up. It was very dangerous to put them up, as they were put up near the ceiling. Use was made of hooks, and much clear packing tape, which has proved itself to be most unreliable. The one who put up the rope lights is worried, for the rope lights are two different sizes. That the rope lights were purchased at two different times is the root of this problem. The smaller of the rope lights are brighter, but also are much warmer to the touch. The small rope lights, with their high kinetic energy, could possibly set one's bed on fire, the one who put up the rope lights worries. But the rope lights are unplugged right now, so there will be no fire. The one who put up the rope lights is hungry and curses the fact that the sections of the cafeteria with good, warm food have closed already. The one who put up the rope lights is hungry, and will nevertheless go to the cafeteria to get a wrap. Good bye.

Injury and Ire

2005-03-11T08:19:00.000-06:00

I spent a great deal of yesterday afternoon text messaging. With all the messages of that sort I send weekly, one would assume that I would have developed a callous or something. Yet, after yesteday afternoon, where I probably wrote 60 messages, I seem to have developed a blister on my thumb. Ouch! I like to use that thumb. And next, I will go to class, a class in which idiots butcher the Bible, and protest does nothing. Of course we're allowed to have an opinion. But there are right and wrong opinions, and the only determining factor is the teacher's wrath. I can't wait to get back to a Catholic school, where the popular push for "tolerance" has not yet undermined teaching in all classrooms like it has in these wishy-washy homes of heretics, such as this Southern Minnesotan 360 acre pagan community. For more rants on this worthless class, see Jon's Blog.

An Interruption

2005-03-08T19:44:00.000-06:00

I was sitting in the Caf tonight, writing an essay due tomorrow for my "Reading and Writing Essays" class when Sarah and Sarah came in and sat down, destroying my concentration and train of thought. Of course, I couldn't tell them to go away, and it wouldn't've mattered if I had. My plane of thought was gone. Now I sit and try to finish my Bartonesque essay on the "homing" qualities DIA has for me, and I can't. I really wish I could. With what I had going, I was pretty sure I could soon write a book to rival Barton Sutter's "Cold Comfort" which describes Duluth as a place to heal his broken soul. My book would be called "Plane Comfort" and would describe various international airports that can heal my broken soul starting with DEN, ORD, and GBR. But I have lost my inspiration. Woe is me!

What I Need

2005-03-08T00:34:00.000-06:00

It’s been almost 4 years since I started, and stopped, in-taking paroxetine hydrochloride regularly. I think it might be time to start again. But I am not going to ask for an expert opinion. Oh no, that costs time and money. But I miss being left handed, and boxing southpaw, and shooting righty. Perhaps if I were able to use my sinistral capabilities more fully once again, I would be more motivated to finish my schoolwork, to read for pleasure, and to go to work. Or to the caf. Or to write letters. Or call people. Or buy a new windshield wiper motor for my aging, screeching car.

What the Hey!

2005-03-07T11:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday it was in the 60's, and it felt uncomfortable to wear long sleeves of any sort. Today its cold enough to find flurries of snow on your way to class, and to freeze one's hand walking between buildings. Mother Nature in Minnesota is BiPolar!

Points finger and laughs...

2005-03-07T10:39:00.000-06:00

Sohre had a fire drill last night, around 12:30. That's when I was trying to fall asleep and it was starting to get cold. Glad it wasn't my dorm!

Its official

2005-03-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

As of today, two of my teachers have dropped the "f bomb" in class.

To begin with, I would like to have it made clear that ones vocabulary in the classroom is not a basis for judgement and effective teaching. In fact, in the first scenario mentioned, the teacher who surprised us all with his language on the first day of class has turned out to be one of the most passionate and knowledgeable teachers I have. Conversely, the guy today, who has waited until now to use such a word is a poor teacher, independant of his vocabulary.

I guess this is one of the differences between my Catholic High School and Lutheran College. Religion aside, there is more respect, more leeway, and more mediocrity. Getting lost in the system, it seems, can hide the gems. But it can also camoflauge the less appealing. Judging from past experience, I think the Religion department here is very much a good cover and smokescreen.

Atheism and devalualizationizing, two defining characteristics of the 21st century (as long as you don't compare it to any other century.) How on Earth do some of these people worm their way into a college environment?

Isms...

2005-03-07T09:18:00.000-06:00

-The nineteenth century was an age of -isms. In history today we took hold of our learning without doing some silly little inconvenient group project and went around the classroom naming off all/some/most of the –isms that defined the period 1815-1917. In this activity, I learned that “anarchism” is a word. {Since Spell-Check acknowledges it, I can’t contest.} Some of the -isms? You know them. You just don’t think about them.

Socialism

Nationalism

>National Socialism

Romanticism

Nihilism

Anarchism

Communism

Materialism

Patriotism

Impressionism

Expressionism

Industrialism

If you take my teacher’s words to heart, people should be able to come up with about 60 terms (around the class twice.) We were spared, and only had to go around the classroom once.

So, the next time you think of, create, or participate in an –ism of some sort, think of the 19^th century, which most probably gave that new –ism to the world. Or at least the idea of it. Existentialism only had its roots in the 19^th century. The rest came later.

Nagging Thoughts

2005-03-04T21:25:00.000-06:00

It’s been a recent acquisition, but the thought "I'm gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life" has been circling through my head like vultures. Whether it be a move, a class failed, a car crash, beginning or ending a friendship, forgetting to send a card to a close friend and cancer patient before they die, or being fired from a job, events will have a life-long impact. And I am just realizing this. It happens to everyone, I suppose, but why does it have to hit me now? I'm just a college first year, and I am much too young for this. But still, why do I keep wondering whether, upon looking back on my life, I will want to say "You idiot, you should have tried harder in Spanish." "You fool, why did you let that friendship die?" "You quitter, you should have toughed it out at that school!” Or will I want to say, "That'll do self, that'll do." "You really came through there." "I never thought I'd see you doing this well."
I went through my midlife crisis Junior year of high school. What is this, the "Two years after mid-life crisis Crisis?" Or maybe it takes getting hit by a locomotive called change (and some inhaled asbestos) to make one acutely aware of such depressing insights.
I am going to leave now and continue my efforts to suppress my coughing and hope that my lungs stay in my chest all night. I'm running out of PowerAde and cough drops.

There's something about Wahlstrom

2005-03-04T09:22:00.000-06:00

People always rag on Wahlstrom Hall. The builing is condemned. There is asbestos in the walls, and the college doesn't have the greatest desire to do anything about it. The rooms are tiny. 10x8 if you count the space filled by the closets. It's impossible to navigate. Everything is staggered and the half floors start and stop with random stairts. I still haven't found the laundry room or the computer lab. It's all in the basement. Somewhere. Being that the building is built into a hill, another element of confusion is added, as only half the basement is inhabited. I chose not to live there. And I am glad of my first floor room. If I were in the basement, I'd still be wandering around trying to move in.

No matter how much people degrade that builing, I think it is good for some people. On moving in, I have discovered people who have chosen to live there for 3 years, or more even. The section idea, 6 rooms around a common room, works well. You have friends, you have space to live, and there is a couch outside your door to escape to and socialize with. And despite the tiny rooms, there is a greater feeling of home and welcome. Its YOUR room. And the building knows that. There's less noise. Fewer parties. Drunk people can't even find your section's stairs. Socialization occurs outside of the room. Put bluntly: The building, this old 1940's military dorm with all of its quirks, nurtures people. Its the kind of care that I search for. I should have lived there from the beginning. And since it is going to be closed and torn down after this year, I am more than grateful that I have been given this one semester to be a Walhstromite.

A Parting Gift

2005-03-03T18:22:00.000-06:00

My roommate has had a cold/flu bug for four weeks. I've miraculously been able to avoid catching it. Yet, yesterday, the day I moved out, I managed to come down with something. Perhaps she tried really hard to infect me as a farewell gift?

2005-03-02T11:34:00.000-06:00

I really hate to do this. Not only am I using a straight outside source to say what I want to, I am bowing to pop culture and using a silly song. Usually when I rely on other people's words, I'm integrating them with mine -making them my own. But sometimes, a song just says it all. So I'm sorry, but this is more of what I am feeling than I care to put into my own words.

"Don't Speak"
by No Doubt

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always

I really feel
I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real,
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me
I can see us dying ... are we?

The Pain of Euphoria

2005-03-02T08:46:00.000-06:00

What goes up must come down.

Gravity: Not only does it work, it’s the law.

They say that a full moon is so powerful that it can affect people’s moods and the balance of chemicals in their brain. 19 years ago, I was born on a full moon. This year, my birthday was the day before the full moon. It was so beautiful that night, rising large and red, looming over the Denver skyline. That was 5 days ago. As the moon waned, I went on a retreat, coming back with a sort of spiritual “high” similar to that which came with the Steubenville Retreat of my last summer. As I came off that high, I found a new source of euphoria. Moving out, no matter where you are changing from or too, is exciting. Though the building I move from is the residence of almost all of my friends and the new one is condemned, asbestos filled, small, old, and has rooms smaller than legal jail cells, the move is exciting. The perspective of having my own space is even more exciting. And so, I have caught up in the euphoria of packing and moving. Before that, I had ridden the euphoria of bonding and a retreat. Before that even, I had enjoyed being home and rode the euphoria of friendship and family. This whole time, I suppose I was under the altering influences of the full moon.

The full moon has departed. The tide slams the other way. A paper was due today at 8am. Another paper was assigned yesterday, and there is a third one in the works. Assignments pile up, teachers talk down, movies baby-sit, a new work schedule has evinced confusion and more work, and my prime motivation for loving my home has turned its back on me, and has become my prime regret. I haven’t even moved out yet! The new life that awaits and beckons will not receive the happy recruit who signed the paperwork.

There is no feeling worse than regret. Whether it is knowing that you weren’t there for someone, that you failed to study hard enough for a test, that you set in motion a trend that has self-destroyed –hurting you with it, - or that you just handed in a paper not worthy of being called more than a rough draft to an excellent and expecting prof, the knowledge of your own failings has a peculiar quality to antagonize your mind. And that’s what I live with. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t once been happy.

RETREAT!

2005-02-27T19:56:00.000-06:00

This past week has been a nice port of call in the maelstrom and storm of college existence. I was given one of the best birthdays of my years -not only did I spend it at home with close friends, I was treated to dinner at a wonderful Russian Restaurant (and I got a first class seat both legs of the journey.) Added to the trip home, three of my classes were cancelled, so I got to spend a little more time away from college. People more or less popped out of the woodwork to wish me a happy day. For once, I didn't feel bad about having a birthday and interacting with people on it. I received a fair share of presents too... Odd for someone over 18, but still appreciated! So, to everyone that made my day happy ~Thank You!!! :)

Friday I made it back and went to one class - the one I had ditched on Wednesday- and then packed for the C2 retreat. Though different from the Catholic School Retreats of my past experience, this one still left me with a sort of "spiritual" or "metaphysical" high. Like the rest of the C2 program, the retreat was hard to describe and the rewards of it cannot be described in words that do it justice. "It was sort of like a retreat. It was kind of like going to camp. It builds community in a way that you've never built community before. And overall, there’s this sense of having more freedom and more responsibility over your life and actions without feeling scared or that something is bound to be screwed up. No matter what you did or did not do, you should have gotten something out of this retreat." I did. I'm already missing the people, the place, the activities.

After that whole break from school, coming back is hard. When busywork and mundane distractions reenter the standard plane of existence, when interruptions, broken dreams, and distorted visions are given room to grown and play, when the plain and ordinary exhibit their drab faces once again, once misses the exotic past. Now I know why people are stoners -though I don't see the point in inhaling smoke to create emotion.

I can't say I was 100% happy on the retreat. I spent time wondering why I was there, and if my friends were really more than associates, and if I wasn't looking in the right place for diversion, amusement, and companionship -but given the chance, I would go back again. And again. And again. Until I lost all sense of what the real world did to make this so much better. Thanks world, for giving my rollercoaster a few hills to climb over.

Home Sweet Home

2005-02-23T18:37:00.000-06:00

I'm home, for about 27 hours. I think I'll take a nap. (This morning was 648 frequent flier miles away, among other things.

Minneapolis really needs to do something about thier parking situation. I tried 2 cheap lots off site, and then had to park in a space thats not really a space on the 9th level of the airport parking garage. If only I could figure out where that airport keeps their long-term parking lots! Stupid Stupid Mineapolis. I really despise flying out of that airport. I think it was designed by some stoner with a penchant for straight lines and right angles. So anyways, it was a long walk, a ride on a train that goes from nowhere to nowhere, and a very hungry person who's tea curdled on the flight but drank it anyways. Huzzah~ first class, once again. 1D is the way to describe me!

I'm tired. I'm hungry. I've decided that I get no more free time at home than at the dorms. T T F N. Also, thanks everyone for the birthday wishes! -Esp. Jon's Mom.

Going Home!

2005-02-23T08:58:00.000-06:00

I’m leaving today, and taking a quick jaunt back home. It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I don’t relish the idea of spending it in the dorms. Too much drama, and besides –they might decorate my room or something. Thankfully, my Essays class has been cancelled for the day. I’m just assuming that in Spanish we will be rather unproductive just like yesterday, and last week, and the week before and the week before that. I’d listen to the guy talk, in his baby-Spanish toned down for us children. I’d mingle with kids who’s Spanish is mingled with “I don’t know what’s going on” and “I hate this” while ‘practicing my conversational skills.’ Right. I’ll learn more Spanish just going home for the day!

So I’ve worn my dress clothes today. Going to class prepared, but not for class –I’m waiting in readiness for my not-so-grand exit. All I’ve got to do is get the car started –UGH! Get my bag ready, and actually find the park and ride up in the cities. Oh, and get to the airport in time –that’s always important too! Then home I’d be! homE! hoME! hOME! HOME!

I have an 8 am class Friday morning. Then I’ll have a retreat on the weekend. And another 8 am class Monday morning. Busy busy busy! But somewhere in there, I’ll be in that special place. A vacation. At home.

It’s nice being a pilot’s kid!

Technolgia

2005-02-21T17:14:00.000-06:00

I bought a flat screen monitor, and it arrived today. Well, my bestest friend in the whole wide world bought it for me, since I am afraid of E-bay. A check and a pat on the back are on the way. So, what am I going to do with a 17 inch flat screen monitor?

Play games on it.

I have an already malfunctiong laptop and I need no second screen for it. Poor Daniel is good enough for me for now, if he doesn't die during the fan-replacectomy operation he will undergo on an undisclosed date in the future.

I bought a box from Startech that can convert the signal from my PS2 into something recognisable by a computer monitor. Then, I hooked it all up, and not I have an over sized monitor sitting in my comfy chair and lording over a MASS of cords on the floor. And, with all that effort and all this mess, I can finally play video games in my room *and drive my roommate nuts.*

This goes to show you how anti-TV I am. I think they should all be smashed. If you really want to hear a funny anecdote about getting rid of a TV, look up Bill Holm. He has a good piece on getting rid of his, and I would quote it but its too long, and I don't have the source in front of me either. Yes, the magic talking box is evil. So are computers and video games, but lets not talk about that right now. I have avoiding purchasing an evil talking box, and now can hook up lots of things to my video display -having fun and NOT doing homework. Well, getting my priorities straight will have to come at a later date.

Good Grief!

2005-02-21T00:44:00.000-06:00

Its after midnight and I haven't started my homework. I take that back, I have worked on a project but thats cuz there's other people involved. ~Motivating factor~ There's some allure to AIM and programs of the sort, they offer friendship that dull books and silly notecards can't give you. Life is depressing. Atleast, it is this semester. I thought I was all done with that depression crap. Guess not. Situational depression is a killer when the situation is school! So, now on to homework. Enlighten me. Why do i need to learn about Rene Descartes from a third party lecturer and writer? I pay lots of money yearly for my own dear prof's expert opinion. Tomorrow too, the day of all days when I need a nap, I will have to stay awake during my breaks and study or read something for class. Time management -bah. I lack the motivation to manage my time. An infinite ammount of screw ups cannot make me enjoy my current situation. Back to Western History Volume 2! Oh how I long for Playstation right now!

A Vindictive Blog

2005-02-20T18:40:00.000-06:00

Coming soon to a bookstore near you:

Chicken Soup for the Dorm-Inhabitors Soul: Stories about dorm smells, dorm noises, dorm furniture, dorm roommates, and other dorm miseries.

Chicken Soup for the Incarcerated Soul: Stories about breakouts, prison riots, and instructions for the storage of weapons in feather mattresses.

Chicken Soup for the Virgin's Soul - Stories to encourage the chaste, commiserate with the single, and console those who haven't given to their flower to anyone.

Chicken Soup for the Promiscuous Soul - Tales to encourage the immoral, console those whose significant other is only in it for the sex and detailed advice on treating STD's without a trip to the doctor.

Chicken Soup for the Married Soul - Stories about other people's kids, other people's houses, other people's cars, and the leaky sink downstairs.

Chichen Soop for the Children's Soul: Funny pictures of Mom doing Carpool duty, Dad cooking, the dog taking a bath, and the time the teenage siblings stole the car.

Chicken Soup for the Custodial Soul- Stories about lazy people who never clean up after themselves.

Chicken Soup for the Soul in Foodservice -Stories about people who can't serve themselves.

Chicken Soup for the Bedridden Soul - Millions of Remedies for getting over a cold, the flu, infectious diseases and broken hearts.

***THIS is a satire. These books don't exist and I have no intention of writing them. ***

2005-02-20T13:37:00.000-06:00

It stopped snowing and then started again. Hooray!

Cravings

2005-02-20T12:21:00.000-06:00

I'm dreaming of some nice -Raisin Bran.
Just like they had in the caf a while ago.
I'm craving some real Raisin Bran.
And all they'll have today is sweet cereals.

I've also been craving soft-serve ice cream. But I gave that up for Lent. Even though today I Sunday I'm gonna stick to my guns and have some other desert.

SNOW!

2005-02-20T12:15:00.000-06:00

It's snowing. The flurries from yesterday turned into something real! For the past week it’s been flurry flurry flurry flurry nothing. I've said, "If it’s going to be cold, it might as well be snowing." And it snowed. I don't know how much we've gotten. I haven't gone outside yet, but it’s enough that the grass is no longer visible -except in that place where they accidentally plowed the grass and not the sidewalk... Tonight or tomorrow would be a perfect time to go to Mt. Kato. Real snow! Real Nice! Anyone wanna go? If we get enough people together, it would be 16 bucks a ticket, rentals included!

If you get up late enough, they will have plowed by the time you are ready to go outside. If you get up early enough, the only thing plowed will be the sidewalk in front of chapel. If you can trudge that far, it’s easy going. Chapel better be your first stop for the day, and you'll need to spend a lot of time there before anything else gets done. Physical Plant is about as lazy as the tennis coach, who stole our riding vacuum cleaner.

I still don't think we've gotten 20 inches of snow this year. Somehow, that still makes us under quota. We need more snow! The soft fluffy kind, preferable that emanates warmth and happiness and stays around for a while. The kind that comes without bitterly cold wind. It’s not March yet, so I don't think my dreams will come true.

Daniel is Dead

2005-02-18T22:59:00.000-06:00

Daniel isn't really dead. Well, not yet. But, if he doesn't get fixed before I use him much more, I think he'll be something close to fried, like his battery is now. The computer has been overheating and the battery life has been reduced by about 2/3rds.

The problem is: the fan is busted. A 13 dollar part, so you'd think its not so bad. But NO! Dell laptops aren't created to be taken apart easily. Its gonna cost me 80 dollars an hour for a dude to take my laptop apart and replace the fan -A procedure that usually takes about three hours.

There goes my J-Term Paycheck. Much more of this and buying an alienware laptop would have been worth the initial cost!

I would have blogged earlier, but...

2005-02-18T22:46:00.000-06:00

It just didn't happen. Its been a downer of a week, augmented by horrible classes, social conflicts and the invasion of the space that is mine. *Well, its not really mine, but I would like to have somewhere to go to store and recharge my sanity.*

So anyways, I was going to write in class today, but my laptop died. See note on fan for explanation. I was nowhere near an outlet. Besides, I couldn't get stable wireless internet either.

Then the network was down. After figuring out how to empty my "trash" folder on a Mac and bring my official school disk usage down to size, I was paranoid that I had murdered my internet connectivity. I hadn't, the network was down. But it still ruined an already not so good day. Happy Happy Joy Joy.

The network is back up. I went to class, went to work, went to walleyball practice, went to dinner, went and got my car and parked it in the close lot, went upstairs to grab my playstation, and then played and played and played. Amplitude is a really addictive and relaxing game. I got Tony hooked. Our next conquest will be the Katmari Damacy. Atleast I think thats the game where you are a little ball that rolls around and collects stuff and grows and grows and grows. The amazing discovery of the week is that the Playstation 2 can be hooked up to the downstairs/public TV and we have a 40 inch or something screen with couches nearby to play on and have fun watching. The only problem is the SEVERE discoloration of the TV. Oh well, it doesn't stop my addiction. I'm going back for more!

HappY Friday!

The Best Gift Ever

2005-02-14T12:03:00.000-06:00

I got a package from my mom today. Well, it came in last Friday, and I forgot to pick it up. The Post Office isn't open on weekends, and I finally got it today. It was a Valentines day package, and it had some socks, a card with a letter, and one of those red heart boxes with chocolates in it, made specially for Valentines day. Usually those things don't mean much. Bought at the grocery store, meant to be given out, but somehow its different since Mom gave it to me. I am really indebted to her for thinking of me, and sending me a holiday package all the way from Colorado. It made my day more than a nap, or a cancelled class, or anything else that I derive occasional pleasure from. Thanks Mom!

-One Week-

2005-02-13T09:30:00.000-06:00

One week down, lots more to go. It’s not even worth counting right now; just flipping that many pages in my planner is depressing. How can anyone take pride, or solace, in having lived through 5 days of classes and one long day of work? It doesn't even feel like the start of the semester -this past week has gone on for so long that only the dates on the syllabus show us it was handed out not even 7 days ago. Plenty of time has been given for trouble making as well. I've already informed the class that I have taken the MMPI, I've run my car out of gas, started hating my room and roommate, and done laundry at midnight. What a week! 15 more to go. (Yes, I buckled down and counted, but on a different calendar.) But my homework is done, and I enjoyed doing it. As long as the class isn't a core and required class, the homework is almost inspirational and worth doing. History of Modern Russia? Of course I want to learn! Teach me more; I only have 4 pages of notes so far. Teacher, help me fix that! Hold class over every day. Don't talk about the upcoming Student Senate elections; I don't know any of them anyways. Talk about Modern Russia! Why didn't I take Russian as my foreign language last semester? Curse you, O Supreme Schedule of the College! And Essays? Essays are just good to read. I'll tear through them, just you wait, book by book; I'll ravish and enjoy them like none other. But the Bhagavad-Gita? Spielvogel's brief history of the world since 1500? Come on! I know there's better out there. Better teachers, maybe... But better ways to approach the topic of "Western Civ" or "Morality" than those, definitely!

And now its time to go to church. First Sunday, good place to start going to church. Next 15 Sundays, good place to keep going to Church.

Oh, and any Machebeuf people, please pray for Mrs. Ferguson. She has Pancreatic Cancer, which is usually pretty thoroughly and immediately fatal and could use any prayers!

Its a Monday Wednesday Friday Thing...

2005-02-11T10:07:00.000-06:00

All this wouldn't be happening if Sarah hadn't gotten a new and fancy haircut over J-Term which emphasises the windblown and tossable style often found in adds for Great Clips or Super Cuts. I mean, to begin with, when she came back, it was all I could do to not say "oh my god, what did you DO to your hair?!" Now she stands in the bathroom every morning I have an 8:00 class and flips her hair around, gets it in the sink, doesn't clean it up, takes up enough space for two people and makes lots of noise. After deciding that it is impossible to flip the circuit breaker for the outlets in the bathroom without effecting the lights as well, I think I'll move to a new bathroom in the mornings. As long as there are no klaxon's or foghorns, or stampedeing herds of cattle, freshmen girls, or lemmings, I think the new arrangements will work out. Check back Monday for the latest updates on this perturbing situacion.

The God Damn Hairdryer Again!

2005-02-09T10:08:00.000-06:00

This time, it was in the same room as me. The same gal that took an early morning shower on Monday and dried her hair in the bathroom repeated the process today. I do hope that she won't make a habit out of this. As I was brushing my teeth in front of the mirror earlier than should be humanly acceptable, the dumb blonde rushed into the bathroom completely dressed, makeup on, her arms filled with brushes, hairdryer, and all manner of other feminine supplies, dumped them on the sink not yet vacated by its current user, and plugged the infernal screaming machine into a nearby outlet. Absolutely inconsiderate! The noise was so loud, it could have woken the dead -or my sick and slumbering roommate. I felt horrible walking back into my room and getting ready as it was, not to mention letting the noise of the hairdryer screech into our room as the door opened. I know for a fact that this evil wet-haired bitch who dries her hair in the bathroom has not this problem. Her roommate was brushing her teeth on my other side. Heaven forbid you should bother your plant with the noise of a hairdryer. (Oh wait, you overwatered the plant, killed it, and gave it to us!) If your roommate is up at the same time as you, for God's sake people, have a hair-drying party in your OWN room!

The bad mood I'm in is mostly my fault. I can't seem to get out of it, and it would be tragic if the one side of the bed I can get up on is the wrong side. But really, whether its a good day or a bad, one should rationally expect to be given space and respect by your dorm-mates early in the morning.

A Personal Vendetta Against Hairdryers!

2005-02-08T01:05:00.000-06:00

The paper thin walls of a dorm are no place for hairdryers. There's no place for hairdryers really, but people use them and it can't be avoided. I maintain, however, that there is no place for hairdryers in a dorm, much less a girls dorm, where people are trying to sleep at 7 a.m.

First damn day of class and I wake up to hear a hairdryer blowing away in the bathroom down the hall. First damn day back! What the heck are these girls thinking. Half the people on this floor don't have to be up for an 8 a.m. class. Just because I do doesn't mean that I am motivated enough to get up at 6 to take a shower and blow dry my hair!!!! Have some respect people! Go dry your hair in your room! If it wakes your roommate up, maybe you should shower before you go to bed, and blow dry your hair when everyone is up and no one is around! Gee! What an idea.

Tomorrow, I think I shall go flip the circuit breaker for the outlets in the bathroom. I'll leave the lights on, but no one will be able to plug in their noisemaking hot air guns. Then, everyone else will be able to sleep peacefully AND I'll be able to lie in bed, hit snooze, and eventually get dressed without the irritating whine of some poor girl who just can't shower every other night instead of each and every blessed morning!

Oh, and they took the 2-ply toilet paper out of the bathroom too! We were spoiled, man! It wasn't Charmin, and it wasn't fluffy, but it was twice as good as the stuff we've got now!

Last Night

2005-02-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

I am very ashamed of myself.

Yesterday, I accomplished nothing. NOTHING! I flew back to school, replaced the burnt-out headlight in my car, replaced the other headlight so that I'd have 2 beams of the same color and intensity (while it was snowing), checked my mailbox (I am going to MURDER the post office for folding yet ANOTHER book in half to fit it into my box instead of telling me to pick up the package at the window), and sat in my room killing time. And killing more time. And killing even more time.

That's not what I'm ashamed of though. In the evening, people began to make their social rounds. "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in forever!" was the noise of the day. Its only been a week, people. Get over it. These friendships don't mean that much to you anyways. So, some people came by, and then their friends came by, and then I went with them to someone else's room... And we watched a movie.

I curse myself, and grind my teeth and foam at the mouth, and shoot myself in the foot for not finding a way out of it. The plan was to get out of it a half hour in... But I couldn't think of anything to say, and I was trapped on a little purple beanbag. At first it seemed too early, then it seemed too late, and I spent about 2 hours watching "White Oleander," a film that tracks a girls moral degradation in the foster care system after her mother is convicted of murder. I think it could have been a decent chick-flick, but as the girl's character deteriorated, so did the movie. By the end, I was rather sick of it and very very ashamed of myself. I am not one of those people for whom dorm life consists of watching movies. Indeed, that was the first movie I've watched socially, from start to finish, all year, but it still is a shameful and pitiful aspect of dorm existence, even in comparison to the meaningless activities of my day.

Thank goodness for homework as it keeps the socialites away?

A Long Hot Shower and Its All Better

2005-02-06T17:44:00.000-06:00

The snow conditions at Copper Mountain yesterday left something to be desired. With no new snow in the past 4 days, the slopes were sprinkled with man-made snow and ice -lots and lots of ice. Though the day was not a waste, it sure was tiring. Snowboards, only having 2 edges, require more effort to control than a pair of skis (4 edges). After a whole day of controlling my board, trying to keep up with my brother ( a speed demon) and my friend (who has been skiing since she was 3), and driving through Saturday mountain traffic I was exhausted and felt really frazzled. I drove home safely, however, and ate another one of those filling and regular meals my mom provides when I am home. Then I headed for the shower. Ahhh. A nice, long, hot shower. That fixed everything! My hair was wet (and cold) but I was ready for bed. I packed my bag (ugh) polished my shoes, and pretended not to see the really full laundry basket. Now I'm back at school, sore and tired and discovering exactly how college contributes to the definition of "empty and meaningless lifestyle." Oh yes, and tomorrow, I get to pay a visit to the post office to retrieve 11 packages and chew them out for folding a book in half to squeeze it into my post office box. Grr!

Touring Week: Its Mao-velous!

2005-02-03T18:10:00.000-06:00

I wish I knew who came up with the whole idea of J-Term and Touring week; they deserve a lollipop! Not for thier brilliance, nor for their stupidity, but for the depth of their knowledge in regards to the life and moods of a "college student." Especially during a Minnesota January, when the wind is cold and the sky is gray, does this essential knowledge of the species "studentis collegeis" become quintessentially rewardable. After having been granted the entertainment of a real class with a real teacher and some real reading material discussed by some real students who really want to be there, and then having been endowed with the parole and permission to see the sun, reside near the mountains, and sleep in a real bed, I think the guy that lets me do that should get a lollipop or a tootsie roll or something.

Being home for a week has been fantastic! Though its had its downs -the snow has already melted, I don't get to work, everyone else is in class all the time, my mom keeps shoving vitamin pills into me like I am some biological mistake, and the high-speed internet isn't ALL mine- life is cruzin' good. I guarantee that will all come grinding to a halt soon, very soon. Yet, the next time I come home, I will be more prepared to kick butt at Cranium (Blue and Green cards, be prepared) and will have created my own crazy and indecipherable rule for Mao (A card game which everyone will love, hate, and should learn to play). So Beware!

There are 17 books waiting in 17 packages in the school post office for me. There is one roommate, one messy room, and one mattress that gives backaches awaiting my return. Oh, and a credit card bill of a most unpleasant character. Its time to party up before I knuckle down and grow up. Or it’s simply the last of the days when I can get up late before it once again becomes mandatory to wake up early.

For the lack of a better ending: "Eeeepp!"

!!!

2005-01-26T15:49:00.000-06:00

One of my books for spring semester is "Tastes of Paradise: A Social History of Spices, Stimulants, and Intoxicants." I pay 27,000 dollars a year to go to school and study the history of getting high in my Western Civ class? This is bullshit!

T-Freud and Counting...

2005-01-24T13:52:00.000-06:00

Four days of class left... Three nights of work... Too much free time... One reading assignment. T-4 and counting. Friday night I fly out of here; once again, my freedom will be to short and sweet. We are reading a book on Freud and Lewis right now. Its out last book before the creative presentations and final exam, and it put me asleep four times in two pages last night. I admit, I may have been slightly exhausted from snowboarding, but the writing couldn't even excite me to finish the reading assignment, which was less than 100 pages. Tonight, the last 200 pages will be a real challenge. I doubt I will read them.

Freud may have been a great guy. He also may have been a complete blockhead. I don't know enough about him to make a definitive decision for myself. All I can postulate is that he severely limited himself by being an atheist, and by placing such importance on the relationship he had with his family.

Lewis may have been a great guy. He may have been a complete blockhead. From the time I've spent on him, and the number of his works I have read (most recently especially) I think I know enough about him to postulate the former and discredit the latter statements. However, I can do this kind of inference, this kind of logical analysis on my own, without the help of a book based on a PBS Special, written about Freud (which sells) that only postulates without attempting to make a differentiation between right and wrong, good and evil, and better or worse.

As soon as Freud is removed from my life, things may improve. Or I may suffer as my friendship with Kristin is ruined over ideological principals. I just cannot explain why I don't go to services in 'churches' that don't believe in God without becoming very flustered, accusatory, and reactionary.

Its 19 degrees outside...

2005-01-23T19:51:00.000-06:00

I found the sidewalk on campus that they didn't plow,I have 96 pages to read for class tomorrow, the caf closes down all the good food to early, its four tiring flights of stairs down to the laundry room, and Emily has a loud voice that carries through the heater too well from Nicole's room. Its in front of Olin. The sidewalk -that hasn't been plowed. Why do I keep making friend with people that have been in mental hosptals?

Let It Snow!

2005-01-23T17:50:00.000-06:00

Friday, Mother Nature dumped 5+ inches of snow on the upper Midwest. Ah, a snowstorm! FINALLY! It's the middle of January, and the first snowstorm of the year has been long overdue. Classes weren't cancelled, of course, because classes are never cancelled when all of the students live walking, trudging, traying, or blundering distance away. What's a little bit of snow? Well, it got Physical Plant off their lazy bumms and for once, I think they plowed every road and sidewalk on campus... Not just the ones people never use. Of course, on the second day, who would think of plowing again? No one... The parking lots are still a mess. In order to prove that they were doing something productive, the Physical Plant people, in their Carhart overalls and choppers loaded dump trucks with the snow from the numerous 10 foot high drifts created the previous day and removed it to an undisclosed location.

With all the beautiful powder, I took the liberty of going snowboarding. Though the hill wasn't very big, (it DEFINITELY wasn't a mountain!) it was bigger than a glorified garbage dump. But then, I've only seen one real garbage dump before. $52 secured a rental board and a lift ticket for me. *I couldn't even get a lift ticket for that price in Colorado right now!* And that's all there is to say about it. I went snowboarding in Minnesota. I got bored after 2 1/2 hours, I went down every run on the hill at least twice, beating the chairlift down every time, and by the time I was done, I could not feel my rear hindquarters. The snow pants I borrowed from a very kind person were too small, and I could not get them buttoned, but they kept falling down, and the sweatpants I was wearing kept falling down too. So, when I got in the shower, my cold and clammy bumm turned bright red and started tingling. TMI? hehe! I wasn't wearing goggles today, which is nice. No goggles burn. My pink and ruddy cheeks don't really hint at sunglasses tan.

Tomorrow, the outdoor amusement while the snow lasts is to borrow a cafeteria tray and go sliding down the hill. The fun part is trying to stop before you hit State Highway 169. Sometimes trays don't obey stop signs.

Commander Keen and the Invasion of My Computer!

2005-01-19T01:36:00.000-06:00

Commander Keen: Invasion of the Vorticons came out in 1990 from Apogee software. It was a big hit, leading to the development of six more Commander Keen games. When I was little, my sister's best friend's dad had the fourth one on his computer, and if I was lucky enough to be there when my mom stayed to talk at their house for a few hours, I sometimes got to play Keen. It burned in my memory forever.

Yesterday, I began pondering my loneliness and boredom. C.S. Lewis may be one of my highly esteemed authors, but after this month-long class I am taking on his works, I find I am burning out. I decided I needed a diversion. Since I didn't have a console handy (I am more of a console than a PC gamer) I looked around online. AND I found Keen, as a free download, at DOS games archive. Hooray!

Who needs friends? Who needs homework? OR papers? Or books? Or walleyball, even? I've got DOS games, Keen especially, at my beck and call. Once I accustom myself to the not-so-great graphics (i.e. once I stop getting motion sickness from looking at them) I will have paradise here. Well, not so much. But anyways.

Commander Keen and the "Beef-with-Bean" Rocket, here I come!

Love: Its one of those things...

2005-01-17T13:34:00.000-06:00

Love. People in it say it cannot be explained. People who have never experienced it say it doesn't exist. Philosophers and writers analyze it. What is it with this human emotion that so captivates the only species that can feel it?

My answer:

It cannot be explained and should be left alone!

I know that others beg to differ. Plato's Symposium is a philosophical and highly acclaimed examination of this topic. Lewis' The Four Loves attempts to boil love down to something that anyone and everyone can understand. I have suffered through both of these works this semester, and I can authoritatively say that both miss their mark. Having experienced love is required for an accurate dissertation, but having been in love adds a certain taint or bias to the writing, and thus, both writers lose something in the transition of ideas between writer and reader.

Besides, Love is one of those things that is different for everyone person and in every locale. Love is art at arts finest form. Since art is not anything like science, you cannot effectively classify, analyze, and break it down according to the scientific method, nor can you quantitatively categorize it.

SO don't even try. It’s an act as cowardly, stupid, and blind as giving me clothes or stationary for Christmas and using a gift bag!

Damned by Excellence

2005-01-10T18:07:00.000-06:00

The later you start you education at a private school, the harder it is. Some people put their kids in private schools right from elementary schools. Others wait until high school, and yet others don’t start considering private schools until college. *There are some people who don't even look at private schools throughout their entire life, but they are not the subject of this dissertation.* The difference between private and public schools is great. Though public schools are apt to have stronger curricula in the maths and sciences, private schools more often better prepare student for the rigors of the liberal arts or college education. On the college level, once again there is a difference. Those who note it most are the students coming in from public schools. Readjusting to a new way of life dissimilar to their old school's methods of training, these students often complain that classes are hard, the expectations are great, and that they have to work and study very hard. This is often frustrating to those students who come into a private college after years of private schooling and find these "challenging and demanding" classes to be easy review. It is not fair to the students who have been better prepared to be held back by their less-prepared compatriots. Yet it is also unfair to the poorly prepared students to deny them entry or give them special consideration while they struggle to catch up with their peers. Or is it? In "Screwtape Proposes a Toast" C.S. Lewis talks about the spirit of democracy and the I’m as good as you ideology.
“In that promising land the spirit of I’m as good as you has already begun something more than a generally social influence. It begins to work itself into their educational system...The basic principle of the new education is to be that dunces and idlers must not be made to feel inferior to intelligent and industrious pupils. That would be “undemocratic.”" Is this to be the way we suppress individuals? I am saddened. At dinner tonight, a few of my friends were talking. "I hope the required curriculum classes we have this semester won't be as hard as the ones we had last semester." "Wait a minute guys!" I interjected. "Last semester's classes weren't hard. They were depressingly easy. I had so much free time. After studying all that stuff years ago, the hardest thing for me last semester was to not fall asleep in class!" “ Well that’s nice that you've studied it already!" was the retort I got. Turns out that everyone else at the table had always attended public schools, one even came from a Math/Science magnet school. Is it fair that I am to be held back while the others work to catch up to my level? Is it fair that some of them, who are obviously smarter and harder workers than me, have received such a poor preparation for college? Is it fair of the college to admit such a disparity of intellects in the first place? I dunno. I'll just do my work and get my grades, and hope to high heaven that my friends catch up and that we stop reviewing high school soon.

National Somethingorother Whathaveyou

2005-01-09T13:33:00.000-06:00

It's National Vocation Awareness Week. I found out in Church today. It seems to be a trend, using National ____ Day as your starting point; anyone can promote anything during a certain timeframe. Soon there won't be any free days, weeks, or months left on the calendar. After all, there already is:

National Hispanic-American Heritage Month (September)
National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month (September)
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (October)
National Auto Battery Safety Month (October)
National American Indian Heritage Month (November)
National Adoption Awareness Month (November)
National Safe Toys and Gifts Month (December)
National Drunk and Drugged Driving (3D) Prevention Month (December)
National Birth Defects Prevention Month (January)
National Volunteer Blood Donor Month (January)
National African-American Heritage Month (February)
National Wise Mental Health Consumer Month (February)
National Women's History Month (March)
National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month (March)
National Candlelight Vigil for Eating Disorders Awareness Month (April)
National Child Abuse Prevention Month (April)
National Asian-American Heritage Month (May)
National Military Appreciation Month (May 2005)

To top it all off, we've got:

National Auto Battery Safety Month (October)
National Hand Washing Awareness Week (December)
National Diet Resolution Week (1st week Jan.)
National Correct Posture Month (May)
National IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) Month (May)
World Breastfeeding Week (August)
International Housekeepers Week (September)
National Take a Loved One to the Doctor Day (3rd Tuesday in Sept.)

Looks like they've got the school year covered! Too bad activism isn't very active when college isn't in session. If you don't believe me, check out the 2005 National Health Observances Calendar or Pam Pohly's Net Guide. Fascinating Stuff!

And in that cold and dark month of February, in which I was born, I am ashamed to admit, the following National SomethingOrOther WhatHaveYou's are observed:

National Girls and Women in Sports Day (First Weds. in Feb.)
National Pride in Food Service Week (1st workweek in Feb.)
National Have-A-Heart Day (Feb 14)
National Condom Day (Feb 14 - Happy Valentine's Day)
National Kids E.N.T. (Ears, Nose, Throat) Month

So, what's on Your birthday?

Nothing to Blog About

2005-01-08T16:34:00.000-06:00

This a post to say that I have nothing of substance to post.

Here is an interesting fact about blogging:

Women account for a greater percentage of bloggers than men. Men are also more likely to abandon a blog once it is set up. (Hey Paul, atleast you can blame your failure to blog on a prevailing social current, or something!)

The full(er) story is available from Time Magazine in an article about bloggers.

I'd say something witty here, but I have nothing to say. I'd say something in general, but the words just won't come to mind. That makes it naptime, after which I will continue stockpiling beef jerky and Honey-Roasted Peanuts for the long years ahead. With all the preservatives therin, my stockpile might even survive a nuclear blast, though I most likely won't.

10 Pounds of Sand

2005-01-08T01:32:00.000-06:00

Minnesota, that hellish land of ice and snow is 20 inches below the average expected snowfall rate for this time of year. Once it is understood that the 2 inches of snow so far, and the 2 ice storms fail to make up for this deficit, one understands the predicament we find ourselves in. It’s very cold, and not very snowy.

The average temperature at which ice melts is somewhere above freezing- a temperature I don't think we've seen since before Christmas. Therefore, all the ice that fell on New Years is still around. The poor Physical Plant people, among the hideous tasks of having to sink new signposts into the asphalt of the parking lot to replace the ones knocked out by idiots pulling donuts, are literally burying the campus in sand. Heaven forbid a few drunken college students should slip, fall, and hit their poor little heads. *You do have to have insurance to come here!* Of course the sand doesn't stay there, on those innocuously icy footpaths where it is sprinkled, it gets tracked into every building on the feet of people who are too concerned with the cold to scrape off their shoes.

Now to the main point--- I swept almost every bit of brown tile in the athletic center tonight, including the stairs *yes, I remembered to sweep the stairs before I swept the tile underneath!* and created two MONSTROUS piles of sand and dirt in the center of the floor. I swept my beautiful piles into a dustpan like a good little custodian and almost broke my back dumping the damn thing into the trash.

Why don't those idiots at Physical Plant just SHOVEL the snow and ice off the walks instead of putting down so much more sand? Their half-assed efforts using that useless little machine that scrubs and brushes the sidewalks cannot be pardoned. I wanna see them work as hard as me, dammit!

Recess: School's Out?

2005-01-07T01:39:00.000-06:00

Not really. I don't get recess anymore and school just started. As a matter of fact, it’s been in session for a whole week (as of class that I will attend at 10:30 this morning...) and, lets just say that I would much rather be at home. Christmas break was WAY WAY WAY too short. I didn't get to see anyone from high school, didn't get to sleep in enough, or get to work enough, or go snowboarding enough... the saga continues.

And now here I am, taking one class that meets for 2 hours every day on C.S. Lewis until the end of January. The guy wrote a lot of books, you know, and we are reading most of them. Free time? What free time? Everyone else may have unlimited time to watch movies, go play walleyball, or make a dent in that keg that was delivered to their room last Sunday, but I will be reading. Right up my alley! *Its also a convenient excuse to get rid of those incredibly social people who keep stopping by -I am either reading or sleeping, and thus never answer my door*

I think I rather like this J-term system. If only it was all the time. I do think I like the block schedule of Colorado College... If you take a science or math course, it will be over soon and thus the torture easily forgotten, and if you have an English class, you can be in heaven for a few blessed weeks. Too bad they don't have a Denver campus! So, now its naptime again. Then I will wake, go to class, read the second half of Perelandra, start reading That Hideous Strength and take another nap, before I play walleyball and then go to work, come back, read some more and take yet another nap.

An odd observation over break

2004-12-28T16:47:00.000-06:00

I have found it interesting that among the blogs I read and the blogs I write, this winter's break has caused a general hiatus from blogging and posting comments on other blogs. It seems that web logs are an interesting means of diversion from life within the higher educations system, yet they hold no real tangible aspect of lives that involve family, friends, and so-called vacation. Anyone agree?

Once school starts again, all too soon, I am most sure, a plethora of posts will clutter cyber space once again and people will stay more "in touch" with their not-so-near associates. Adieu

Home!

2004-12-20T11:04:00.000-06:00

And I seem to have brought big gusts of wind with me! Its warmer here, so the wind doesn't hurt, but still... Colorado is supposed to be a paradise of weather. Well, sorta...

Its so nice to be home~ I can sleep all day, and hang out with people all night, and there are no hairdryers, cellphones, or loud conversations near my room, and there is something to do at night, and good friend with which to do it.

We went to IHOP last night. Now that is some good Hollandaise sauce~ they really know how to do it right there! Then we rented The Godfather and worked on a puzzle till 1:30 am. Joy and rapture! Of course, those 8am classes kinda mess with the system, and I was awake by 9... Save me! I am turning into a morning person!

Now its time to go wrap Christmas presents... A flurry of paper, scissors, and tape. ~no productivity involved, of course, and then go shopping. Why don't I ever have any money?

The hot apple cider is calling my name, I must go follow the wafts of its sweet aroma, and bid the internet farewell. BYEBYE

Its Over

2004-12-18T23:02:00.000-06:00

Finally~ Finally finally finally finally finally!

Its over its over its over its over!

I took my last final today... And the first three pages of the essay were bunk, the thesis was the last line, and i made up a whole lot of stuff about Ferdinand and Isabella and other medival or Renaisance dudes. But its out of the way. Its out of the way, and I am thankful. With that guys grading, I'll probably get the test back in March, three weeks after the research paper that I turned in last friday...

Home tomorrow. That shall be fun, more later.

Last Day

2004-12-15T09:31:00.000-06:00

Hooray
Hooray
It is the last day!

One class left, and three finals to go!

I'm not all that excited. As a matter of fact, I'm about as worn out and apathetic as they come. I mean, yeah, I know that the human condition can involve much more trauma and suffering than this, but I still feel like I a huge weight is being repositioned on my shoulders. Right now, as they lift it up to resettle it, I am feeling happier and freer, but next semester will only be worse. No good. No happy.

Its time to review. There are plenty of study sessions, tomorrow is reading day, and everyone and their grandma are having Christmas parties cuz its the last free day before finals. I don't know if you can call it a free day any more, but its the day of cramming, sleeping in, or selling back your books. (Meggers, can you help me do that?)

Naptime. I must enjoy this last bit of time I have been granted to sleep for two wonderful hours in The Dive. G'day all.

BTW, I'm jealous of every one of you that has your finals out of the way.

A Perfect Night for a Drive

2004-12-13T23:45:00.000-06:00

Its one of those cold and clear nights, when there isn't a cloud in the sky, the wind scours your body beneath every layer, and any water you spill while filling your car's battery turns to ice instantly. In Siberia, this weather would be typical; welcome even. Here at the North American latitudinal equivalent of Siberia, where the northern lights dance around the wings of planes approaching Minneapolis, this weather is met with moans and a flurry of donned scarves and mittens.

Tonight, driving back from my favorite coffee shop, after the trial of push-starting my car, I took the long way home in an effort to re-charge Gus the Volvo's battery. Driving up SH 169, headlights piercing the utter darkness, I caught a glimpse of a star, shining alone in the pitch black sky from out of my passenger window. Inspired, I opened the sun-roof, and gazed up into the deep. Stars twinkled like I had never seen before. The sky was so clear--- I did not know that you could see that many stars in one area from below the manually opened sun roof of a 1981 Volvo! It was the most amazing sight. It is lamentable that I have no one to share that view or feeling with.

I would have longed to drive forever, cranking the heat up, and driving through the chill Minnesota night with the sunroof open, staring into that abyss, in which the heavenly bodies twinkle and meteors arch across the horizon. But I returned to my existential void and managed to find a space in the close(r) lot, right next to someone I know who can give me a jump start tomorrow so I can go buy a new battery.

An Old Joke

2004-12-12T16:40:00.000-06:00

This one has been around the block a few times. Nevertheless it is a good joke, and a classic. Have a few laughs. And remember: Though I go to Gustavus, I don't drink and I have never owned anything by J. Crew!

How many Minnesota college students does it take to change a light bulb?

At Carleton, it takes two. One to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

At Hamline, it takes three. One to change the bulb and two to phone a friend at St. John's to get instructions.

At Macalester, it takes four. One to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.

At St. Mary's, it takes five. One to change it and four to talk about how they would have done it in Chicago.

At Gustavus, it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect "J. Crew" outfit to wear for the occasion.

At Augsburg, it takes seven and each one gets four semester credit hours for it.

At St. Thomas, it takes eight. One to change it and 7 to bitch about how they wouldn't have gone to St. John's/St. Ben's even if they could have gotten in.

At Concordia, it takes ten. One to figure out how to screw it in and nine to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.

At St. Olaf, it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Carleton, and 50 who realize it's all a lie.

At Bethel, it takes none. They don't screw.

At St. John's, it takes 3, one to change the light bulb and 2 to talkabout how much brighter it shines during football season.

At St. Ben's, it takes 4, one to change the light bulb and 3 to figure out how it will help them meet their future husband.

At Mankato State University, it takes 1, but it takes him 6 years.

At St. Cloud State University, "who gives a shit....let's drink"

At Winona State University, it takes 3, if they're lucky one of them has taken the course at Rochester Community College.

At Moorhead State University, it takes 3, one to change it and 2 to crack under the pressure.

At Bemidji State University, none, Bemidji doesn't have electricity yet.

At University of MN Duluth, the whole student body, there's nothing else to do in Duluth on the weekends.

At University of MN Morris, it takes 1; he just holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

At the University of MN St Paul, none, downtown St. Paul looks better in the dark.

At the University of MN Twin Cities, i, one to change the bulb, and three to write up a complaint to the Board of Directors stating that they could have gone to a better school if they had wanted.

A New Countdown

2004-12-10T08:03:00.000-06:00

Its Friday! My Research Paper is due today; next period in fact. That means with the paper I turned in yesterday, and the week having passed, I am onto a new countdown.

3 final exams
2 papers
1 week

It helps put things into perspective, knowing what all is left. Only having three class days left really puts the stopper on it... Knowing that you are so close, but that you still have to get up for 3 more 8am classes... And so, I am prepared to sleep in this weekend, and to write two papers and study for three final exams, thinking not at all about my time left here.

Thankfully, There Were No Deer

2004-12-08T09:59:00.000-06:00

So, I was blogging in my religion class this morning, we were going over 1 Corinthians today, so I wasn't paying attention. I am pretty sure we already went over that last class, but then again, I wasn't paying attention that time either. Alls I know is that something besides 1 Corinthians was on the syllabus for today. So anyways, I was blogging, and I had a good vein going, and then I hit Ctrl X instead of Ctrl B, and I closed the window. How frustrating! Now I have to start over... grr...

I went for a drive last night. That feeling of "I gotta get outta here" really kicked in. And so I left, put about 100 miles on my car, and knocked the gas gauge down to half a tank. Bummer, I just filled up Monday and I don't get payed again till next week sometime. So anyways, there was this big animal thing lying in the middle of the road. It looked like a giant possum or a 'coon or something. I swerved, not desireing to flip my car. If you, your pet, or your farm animal is dead, please don't lie in the middle of a dark country road in the middle of the night! I managed to get back to campus at 11:30, about the time that the library closes... so my roommie, who has pinkeye, suspected nothing. Tis good, that!

I dropped Daniel today. He was in my backpack which was a lot heavier than I thought, and it slid right off my back and accelerated at a speed of 9.8 m/s^2 and slamming into the linoleum with a very loud thud. Poor Daniel! There are two more cracks in his case, and a part of the screen, a very very small part, mind you, is looking a very odd and bright color. I can live with that. Its time to pull the duct tape out again. Hmm... I think i need to get a new roll of that.

We read and discussed Boccacio today. I wonder what it would have been like discussing that in a Catholic school, and/or my high school. As I recall, we were supposed to read some of that for senior AP English, but no one did. So we didn’t ever do anything with it. One of my biggest regrets, other than not looking into the PSEO program.

I don’t wanna go to Spanish! That’s ok. I’ll nap first. So will Daniel. He’s got low batteries, and this comfy leather couch is nowhere near the nearest outlet.

Sleep, or work?

I choose sleep!

Horrible Horrible Heat

2004-12-07T13:13:00.000-06:00

Its not freezing out side, for crying out loud. The snow that was on the ground two days ago is about gone, and the weather is so nice that one needs not worry about a jacket, mittens, or a hat. Yet the building that I live in for today is as warm as a Minnesota summer, minus the humidity! Something is wrong with this here! Oh wait, I'm in Minnesota. Its winter, and the people don't like it cold. Thus, the dizzying heat.

I gotta do something about this! There is no way that I am going to strip to feel comfortable in a classroom. As a matter of fact, even if I did strip, I doubt that I would feel any better. Breathing in the overly warm air is suffocating enough.

I've got it! I'm gonna open a window. Hopefully my revolutionary action will not earn me any ostracision, or any stares, or cruel comments from the teacher. Hooray for breaking from cultural norms! Wait, is warmth and shelter a norm or a desire?

The Beginning of the End

2004-12-06T08:17:00.000-06:00

Amen, Jens. The time is near. It is December 6th. After the 21st, I will be done! There's not that much time left both to suffer here, and to finish up work. I would celebrate but we are not done yet. I have four papers and three final exams between now and the end of the end.

Redemption of the Bathroom Literature

2004-12-05T23:28:00.000-06:00

If you believe in redemption, or bathroom literature, or comedy.

-What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

-The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a Nativity Scene in Washington D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. ~Jay Leno

-Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him.

-The complaint of the Christmas Shopper is one of long standing. ~Unknown

- I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~Shirley Temple

-Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. ~Unknown

-The Magi, as you know, were wise men - wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. ~O. Henry

* I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~Charles Dickens, Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol

If Intentions were Ponies...

2004-12-05T19:19:00.000-06:00

...Slackers would ride.

I have 3 papers to write. I have started two of them, and I intend to finish them all. Just... not now.

Somewhere I Belong

2004-12-04T18:47:00.000-06:00

I was happy today.

This proves that I must indeed be busy to be happy. A job or service project -one I feel comfortable and competent in doing - is the keystone to happiness. From there it matters not that I have friends. A good co-worker is sufficient. A few people to say 'hi' to or to chat with in passing is an auxiliary pleasure.

The feeling of accomplishment from doing all the homework I did today with out the customary negative emotions accompanying the work, while being obligated to complete other duties (dust-mopping the gym floor, emptying trash cans, checking bathrooms) is a splendid emotion; one that sets the mind at ease. I have not experienced a feeling like that since high school, as I filled my free time with a paid position and fulfilled my duties as a student.

I know that I cannot simply go and sit in the Custodial Break Room and spend the afternoon of any day enraptured in schoolwork, but on those days when I must work for a majority of the day, I know that I will come away from the shift in a much better mental and scholastic place. This is proof that the spirit of the place has little to do with its associated homework-productivity quota, but that the positive results come from within. Within this person lies a deep need to be working, to be busy, to be happy.

World AIDS Day

2004-12-01T11:12:00.000-06:00

Today is World AIDS Day. I've been dreading it since I walked by the Chapel Monday morning and saw all the wooden crosses stuck into the ground. Since I go to an ELCA Lutheran school, I knew it couldn't be in memorare for something important, like war casualties, victims of Abortion, the slaughter of Christians in Africa, or any other important social issue. Nevertheless, when I passed the sign that said-

"December 1st is World AIDS day. These crosses commemorate all the Minnesotans who have died from AIDS since 1985. One cross represents 50 Minnesotans."

my heart stopped beating, my head started spinning, and I began to detest the idiots and their ignorance here more than ever.

Why are we commemorating people who have died from AIDS? They have fought no greater battle than a supermodel with an eating disorder, a smoker with lung cancer, or someone with skin cancer addicted to a tanning booth. AIDS is just another disease, one that people die from. Moreover, it is one that people inflict upon themselves. Aside from the almost eliminated cases of contracting HIV/AIDS through a blood transfusion, AIDS is only transmitted through the exchange of bodily fluids. When do people exchange bodily fluids? When they have sex! When do people have sex? Whenever they feel like it! With whom? Anyone who is around, especially a significant other who has been someone else's significant other who has been someone else's...!

Why are we commemorating Minnesotans who have died from AIDS? There are so many more people in the world who suffer, AIDS or otherwise than a few Minnesotans with an STD. In Africa alone, due to the World Health Organization's scandalous practices, millions of people suffer from AIDS, from being orphaned, or from malnutrition, lack of immunizations, unsanitary drinking water, and discrimination. We should be remembering them- those ignorant citizens of 3rd world nations who are being brainwashed by fearful industrialized nations into believing that it is OK to fuck promiscuously as long as a condom is used. Yesterday, in front of the Cafeteria, a group of students was collecting "food and condoms for Uganda." That, folks, is education and "awareness" at its best!

If each of those crosses that represent 50 Minnesotan sinners were to represent the amount of babies killed by Planned Parenthood in the 2004 fiscal year, each cross would represent thousands. If each cross represented the amount of people harmed by the social injustice resulting from the 8 years of Bill Clinton's presidency, it would represent hundreds. If each cross would represent the number of students who have graduated from college in America since 1985 without an education or good formation in a personal code of values, it would represent millions.

Its time that the ELCA, the office of Peer Assistants, and the American people analyze what they stand for, and make some drastic paradigm shifts!

Beware the Bathroom Literature!

2004-12-01T11:10:00.000-06:00

According to the pamphlet in the bathroom stall today, there is a shortage of condoms in Africa. Men are getting only 3-4 free condoms a year from the WHO. Apparently this is a disaster? People haven't needed condoms for thousands of years, not even ONE! Why do people need more than four now? So, if you feel like oppressing the third world countries into extinction, by all means, donate little rubber blobs to the "World AIDS Day awareness drive" today.

I hope Margaret Singer is burning in Hell for this along with her idiotic and malinformed counterparts worldwide!

A New Friend

2004-12-01T08:42:00.000-06:00

I made a new friend last night. I was sitting at dinner with the friend of a friend, and I said: "Elledge is incomptetent." Her face lit up, and she beamed at me. "I like you," she said. Apparently, she too has classroom experience with the most un-religious man with the worst teaching style that I have yet encountered in the religion department. Can we say that, for the first time, something good is coming out of his class if I am improving my social life?

The quiz today... weird. I have never seen the man give a 7 question quiz! I also am captivated by the potential for cheating as he says "grade youself." Then we spent a whole heck of a lot of time on the Q source dude. I think Elledge has a penchant for" source and author studies" when it comes to the Bible. That would explain the tendancy of his to exclude major parts of the Bible that he doesn't seem to like or care about. On that vein- I am surprised we covered Mark while skipping Matthew. And why did we not go over Luke- another dude involved in the Two Source Theory?

Excerpts and Blobs

2004-11-30T23:59:00.000-06:00

I have lots of little things to say.

Hooray for a Job! I picked up 2 extra shifts this week. ~Somehow, this seems reminiscent of my entry into the Noodles world… With the excellent 4 hour shifts that I have been offered this month, three of which I knock off this week, I am all set for 16 hours this week. That’s as much as I accumulate in 3 standard workweeks!!! So, after working Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, of this week, I will rest happy, keep myself busy, earn money, and be all worn out, tired enough to plop down to my research paper without the energy for complaints and procrastination of which habitually disrupt my productivity.

Studded Snow Tires are illegal in Minnesota, so I’m told. I know for a fact that you can’t buy them anywhere in the state. In choosing between breaking the law and saving my life on an icy road, I’d go with breaking the law. Besides, it will stimulate the economy if my tires tear up the road and they need to hire more people to repave it. The roads here are in such pathetic condition, they won’t notice more damage anyways!

Research Paper – due in 9 days! I have a few sources… not that I dislike this paper, per say, I just am not motivated for it. My topic is Barcelona and their maritime practices in the Middle Ages. Does anyone know anyone who specializes in this kind of stuff who has a similar writing style to that in which I ramble? I’m not a cheater… Simply put: I think others could benefit from this assignment more than I. I’m not arrogant… Easily stated: I am a very confidant slacker.

I have discovered that I like Petrarch. Though I may not agree with the principles of the Renaissance or of Humanism, his writing style appeals to me, that is, after it has been translated from Latin to English. Kind of reminds me of Michel de Montaigne… insightful, direct, and unpresumptuous.

I had a GREAT time in Denver over Thanksgiving! I wish I were back. Now I’m homesick, lonely, lost, and apathetic. It doesn’t help that they’ve already got at least a foot of snow more than what Minnesota has received this year! Best snowboarding season on record –and I’m stuck in a pigsty of liberal maladroits participating in the biggest educational rip-off of the 21^st century with no snow, no mountains, and no legal snow tires. Welcome to purgatory. I’m atoning for the sin of leaving Colorful Colorado with a four-year sentence.

Duct Tape

2004-11-30T16:08:00.000-06:00

Hooray, hooray! Gus is fixed! ---well, on the way to being fixed. Volvos generally don't have anything wrong with them, ever, but mine is in need of a little... Well... Improvement?

Now the passenger door opens from the outside AND the inside! Always a plus. -Turns out a part was missing... I couldn't figure out how the part went back on, or even if the chunk of metal I held in my hand was the correct part, so I taped the hinge pieces together. Its on the inside, no one will notice. All I had was electrical tape *me being too lazy to walk back to the dorm to get duct tape* So now I can butcher the old joke (see link in title). Here we go: "Why is electrical tape NOT like the Force?" -"It has a dark side and another dark side, and it holds my car together."

Yes, I know, I'm not the next Jay Leno. Sorry.

BTW, those of you that think I don't blog often enough... Check my other pages: Little Lessons and Travels, cuz sometimes I will write there and not on the main page. You gotta stay on your toes in this game!

A Blatant Disregard for Anyone but the Self

2004-11-29T01:02:00.000-06:00

Have you ever heard the expression “the world is coming to an end”?

People usually say it when they hear about horrible atrocities committed in a locale outside their sphere of influence. Expressing desperation at mankind’s growing cold hearted, ruthless, bloody, and inconsiderate manner, references to the end of the world embody a universal frustration with the ignorant, the selfish, the brutal, and the ignoble.

Instructors at driving schools nationwide caution their pupils to be wary of aggressive drivers. Ski Patrol associations at resorts post signs and warnings to promote skiing or riding under control. Within the last century, it has been made possible to persecute someone for reckless endangerment, vehicular homicide, and for causing death through reckless skiing or riding. People today are increasingly more selfish, aggressive, demanding, violent, and unaware of those who are their fellow passengers to the grave.

– Driving to Minneapolis last Wednesday, I was passed by a gangsta in a black Mitsubishi Eclipse who, after tailgating me, changed lanes and blew past me at 75 mph. I was scared shitless when the black blob of turbo-charged POS that suddenly appeared in my mirror, and even more so when he started playing mind games with me, speeding up, slowing down, backing into me at stoplights.

– On the ski slopes this year, I saw a snowboarder jump a slow sign opening day at Copper Mountain. Luckily for him, ski patrol was right there and pulled him over. Since then, I’ve been cut off in line by boarders and skiers while trying to get on a lift. I’ve also been part of a near collision in which a skier, speeding straight down the mountain, dove between my sister and me as we were passing each other headed in opposite directions with about 10 inches between us at the time.

– On my flight back to Minnesota today, the plane was filled with screaming children. The parents didn’t seem to do much about it. So, the family three rows in front of me switched seats five or six times, their toddler tried to fall asleep in the aisle, and the dad stood in the aisle a few rows back carrying on a conversation while the fasten seatbelt sign was on. Then, the guy in front of me couldn’t sit still. His sudden movements pinched my finger while letting down my tray table. While I was napping on the tray table, he constantly rocked back and forth, banging his seat into my head, and pinching it between table and mount. Finally, when I had given up napping, his rocking motions kept pushing my laptop closed. If people don’t let their children bounce on the seats (thankfully, no one did) what sense does it make to let an adult do so? The last straw was the personal mini DVD player a few rows away with the volume up. If you’re going to listen to your music, use headphones. If you’re going to watch a movie, do the same!

Ever wonder why this is?

What Did the Turkey Do?

2004-11-25T19:27:00.000-06:00

It’s Thanksgiving. That means it’s the time of the year when millions of turkeys in farms across the country are slaughtered, frozen, and sold for 70 cents a pound. (No, I'm NOT a vegan!) College students from around the country fly or drive home to visit their parents. And the whole world, it seems, eats too much, sits back and undoes their belt buckle, talking all the while about football, politics, or family friends.

I'm home. I ate turkey; probably the moistest turkey we've had in while. I ate stuffing. It was good. So was the cranberry salad; gotta love those marshmallows! My sister made the mashed potatoes- I think I have found the flaw in her impeccable cooking, though her homemade pies were excellent, down to the pumpkin filling artfully scraped from a can. *The crust was 100% homemade.* Then I sat around and talked politics, the downfall of American culture, and books. Now I'm blogging. (no, really?)

Congratulations to me. Does that mean I'm finally starting to fit in?

I'm home. I ate turkey; probably the most moist turkey we've had in while. I ate stuffing. It was good. So was the cranberry salad; gotta love those marshmellows! My sister made the mashed potatoes- I think I have found the flaw in her impeccable cooking, though her homemade pies were excellent, down to the pumkin filling artfully scraped from a can. *The crust was 100% homemade.* Then I sat around and talked politics, the downfall of American culture, and books. Now I'm blogging. (no, really?)

Congratulations to me. Does that mean I'm finally starting to fit in.

An Arguement for Apartment-Style College Dorms

2004-11-18T02:12:00.000-06:00

"I find TV very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book." -Groucho Marx

My roommate has a TV. I have no other room in which to go and read.

Why I'm Not a College Democrat

2004-11-18T02:10:00.000-06:00

"I'd rather be in the right than in the majority." -Craig DeBiase

Homework

2004-11-17T19:10:00.000-06:00

Why is everyone asking me when I do my homework?

I'm in college. That means I pay $27,000 a year to live on my own with practically unlimited free time away from my parents. I do homework all the time. Since I don't socialize, I need something to keep me occupied. I do homework in the two hours between classes. I do homework in the afternoons, in the evenings, late at night, and not so late at night. My grades are fine. Really?

I've been a good girl. Can I have a job now?

Shin Splints, Shoes, and Speed Walkers

2004-11-17T18:27:00.000-06:00

I need to find a college that will not give me shin splints as I walk around campus.

Or maybe I just need a new pair of shoes.

I'll go with the college thing. Transferring is a lot less embarrassing than being seen in a shoe store. If shopping were meant to be fun, everyone would wear the exact same clothes and we'd all be ordering them from a catalog.

Seriously though, if my legs keep hurting this much, they're gonna be hurting when I'm not even on my feet. I remember well from the time I used steel-toed work shoes for the entire hockey preseason during dry land practices how miserable it feels.

Of course, if I were taller I wouldn't be having this problem. My legs only hurt when I walk to and from classes and try to keep up with the group I'm walking with. Minnesotans walk extremely fast! I think it's instinctive of people who are always tring to get inside to escape cold temperatures. A longer stride would require less effort. Or I could just walk at my own pace. Then I'd have to walk on the grass to avoid being run over. Hey, I've always been told that I walk to the beat of my own drum and that I never walk the beaten path. I should take those metaphorically intended words to heart!

The success of Testing Tuesday in Togas

2004-11-16T10:07:00.000-06:00

We had a test today. One of the joys of being in Curriculum Two, this college’s non-honors honors program, is that they occasionally load the world on your shoulders in an effort to “weed out the bad ones,” so to speak. {There are also lots of real joys such as bloody broomball competitions, field trips, overnight retreats, complimentary coffee and doughnuts…etc.} This week, a paper was due yesterday. A test in that same class was scheduled for today, and tomorrow, another test is scheduled for a different class that is in the same program. Stress city! It’s ok though. The material we have covered isn’t very hard. Actually, since I’ve studied it many many times before, it’s not hard at all. Thank you Mr. Lenzini, Mr. Engstrom, Mr. Moran, Mr., Flanagan, and all those great religion and history teachers I’ve encountered over the years in Catholic grade school!

So anyways, about the test today- All four sections of my History/Western Civ class met in one of the banquet rooms in the campus center to take this test on Rome: The Roman Monarchy, the Roman Republic, and the Roman Empire. We decided to take our learning to heart and do something odd and fun that only C-Two students do…

Seeing as Romans wore togas, we, The Toga Committee sent out an email encouraging the 64 people in the class to wrap themselves in bed sheets for the test. Unfortunately, we ended up sending the email to our teachers, so it wasn’t a surprise, but the day was still amusing. We actually had about twenty people show up wrapped in blue, green, yellow, cherry print, and fluorescently polka-dotted sheets. Some of them stayed up better than others. *Woe to the short persons who kept tripping over the hems of theirs. Woe also to those who had no pin to secure their sheet in a stable position. * It went remarkably well, all things considered, and was a lot of fun.

As for the test itself… We’re not going to talk about that.

Super-Gluing the Substitute Smother Mother

2004-11-10T08:10:00.000-06:00

In response to my roommate's recent need to organize, and the incredible decrease in the size of my personal space, I have taken advice from various sources, and I have determined that the only way to protect my dignity is to take matters into my own hands.

I am going to super-glue all of my belongings into a permanent state in the location they currently occupy. That way, The Roommate will still be able to rearrange however she wants. Her items will be free to roam around the room unlimitedly in the confined space. Too bad the closets and dresser are shared... Otherwise, I would glue one of them down on my side, reinforcing it with a duct-tape bond to all of my other super-glued items. Too bad the only open space on my side is in front of the door. Now, whom do I lock out and whom do I glue in?

Yesterday, to escape the distracting and oppressive atmosphere on campus, I drove down to Mankato, parking myself in my favorite coffee shop for six hours and working diligently until I erased my two-day homework deficit and achieved a one-day advantage. So, doing three days of homework in one sitting, I avoided the unglamorous campus life which so disturbs me and reached a state of extreme productivity. When I returned to campus, spent an hour in the cafeteria, and finally entered the dorm, my roommate *who was on the phone* ignored me. Okay. I can deal with that. It happens with frequency. Then, out of nowhere, she began yelling. "Where were you? I was worried about you! I thought you were dead! Next time, just call or something, okay?"

Yes Mother.

What a shock. I thought she didn't care. Hmm... I guess she does. That could present a problem. I thought that we had a sort of noncommittal and un-confrontational relationship.

I'm sick of dealing with people who are that caring and worried. I am in college. I answer to my report card. If you really care about me that much, call me. My phone works, and it receives text messages too!

Electronic Misery

2004-11-09T14:02:00.000-06:00

It’s supposed to be blue funk week! In theory, though not yet in reality, for this supposed blue funk week has yet to become blue and funky. It’s more like a gray and drab week. The weather is to damn warm for Minnesota in November. Its not even sweatshirt weather today! Da HELL? Nothing of note has happened in any classes. The activities have been mundane but tolerable- Group work, which of course turns into socializing: A mindless activity at the first year college level. Lectures: I'm not awake to know if they are good, so we will assume that they are blah, similar to the other lectures we receive in this corrupt and impersonal institution. A Test: Once again, something that neither challenges the intellect nor punishes the unprepared. Epiphany: The roommate has an obsession with reorganizing.

Last night, I sat miserably and watched the roommate draw out THREE different plans for how she (I hesitate to use the word "we") will arrange our room over the next semester. I like it now. We rearranged about a month ago, and quite frankly, I am very happy with the room the way it was. {It no longer IS. She rearranged.} We seem to have more space in the middle now. Really, due to recent events, we seem to have more space in general. That is, you can look around and notice the effects of Hurricane Meghan, who hasn't had classes in the last four days, with greater ease. Red Cross Katy has not been around to provide disaster relief. Perhaps my presence would have made no difference. Perhaps it would have. The 'If Onlys' won't get me anywhere, but they sure are nice when one has to face a constant shift in the things one tries to take comfort in their consistency. Ahh, if only I could lie on the futon. If only I had access to the space atop my side of the closets.
*Let me explain why I have lost my space atop the closets. The TV, that evil talking box that has the power to render man a slobbering blob and has, as of yet, NOT been removed from my sanctuary, is now atop The Roommate's side of the closets. Her disaster of personal items has splashed across the territory of this corner of Section 3A. She now has a greater proximity to her evil machine, and has been able to get reception on a greater variety of channels to a more pleasing degree. Though I cannot see this damn box as easily from my shrinking territory, its voice and scathing portrayals of shallow idiocy scream in my direction with more frequency than ever before, turning this week into a bluer shade of gray.

Caribou Coffee, here I come! As soon as I am paid this month, I will seek shelter in a Mummy Bag from Cabelas after cleaning out the back seat of my car, and fixing the passenger door, which refuses to open from the inside. It seems that the characteristics of the occupants of this room have engaged in a dramatic Peripety. Sadly, though I seem to be the independent, outgoing, and social one, I still feel Pathetic.

The Black Void

2004-11-08T14:35:00.000-06:00

I really hate how there is no morality, no right and wrong, no better and worse here. Only what is makes YOU feel good. Well,
*Driving my car at excessive speeds makes me feel good.
*Not doing my homework
*Burning myself
*Defying authority
*Beating up arrogant and querulous bastards
*Walking around by myself at two in the morning
*Criticizing others
MAKES ME FEEL GOOD!

Sometimes, it seems that doing things that make you feel good aren't socially acceptable.

If learning new, interesting, or important things in and honest, in-depth, and unbiased manner makes me feel good too, does that mean they are probably detrimental to my physical and mental health as well?

Anecdotes

2004-11-06T18:25:00.000-06:00

These are some comments that I made in past weeks. I share them now, so that they may do more than take up space on my hard drive. -Or perhaps the chalk dust is getting to me. I seem to have an acquired immunity to dry erase markers, but not chalk.

There's hope for my roommate. She didn't close the window or turn off the fan last night. Only closed the drapes, which effectively cut off ventilation. We woke up to the St. Peter High school marching band this morning. Through the open window. They have practice at 7:00 on Friday mornings. Poor guys. It stinks to be the people in our section with rooms facing the high school football field. Well, better put, sometimes it just sucks to not have an 8:00 class. Those of us who do were already awake when band practice started. We don't have to worry about falling asleep with that din for another hour or so. I never thought there would be an advantage to having class first thing in the morning. Of course, if I lived on the other side of the building, I wouldn't have that problem. Yet, our side always gets the nice breezes, is away from the bird-filled trees, and never gets direct sun in the window. It’s definitely the better side to be on. Except for that wonderful view of a brick wall outside the window... Hey, if we look to the left we see a softball field, the high school, and the marching band practice grounds. Darn, vicious cycle.

Hooray Spanish. As my roommate would say, "my teacher is on Crack!" (Crack is her way of describing anything out of the ordinary, the mundane, or the conservative, non-secular world) This guy is very hyper. He seriously only spends 65% of class time on the ground. Jumping and flying are his secondary areas of expertise; the activities of the Columbian Narcos are his first. Being that he is from Columbia, he is always speaking of tequila, Dos Equis, and cocaina. In Spanish. We don't speak English in that class... when we do, he draws a mark on our sleeves or shoulders, and says the Narco's are gonna knock us off after class. (The teacher next door is very noisy, always pounding on the Chalkboard, and through the thin walls, we say that the Narco's are working their way through the building.) All of it is in jest of course. In addition, I have been marked every day in a week, and I'm still alive. The system seems to be flawed. Like DeBiase, this guy believes that class is not worth attending if you don’t have at least one bit of fun in it, and that you learn better when you are happy. Gaston, however, enacts that principle to a better and more productive extent. Number one thing that I have learned in that class: "chalk" is the English work for cocaine. Don't worry; I haven't started snorting chalk dust yet. (Just Kidding!)

Elledge and Modern Education

2004-11-05T08:31:00.000-06:00

It is indeed sad, that in this day and age, America's College Students "want" an education that has the Divine removed from religion, the morality removed from Ethics, and the act of judgment removed from the process of independent thinking!

In Biblical Traditions, our Curriculum II Sequence is receiving one aspect of a complete liberal arts education. As implied by the title, the topic of study is The Bible, the oldest and most revered book in Western Civilization. Indeed, the western world is so dependant and grateful to the Judeo-Christian tradition that the Bible was the first book ever printed upon the advent of the invention of the printing press. All scholars who have received a comprehensive liberal arts education are familiar with the Bible, and this remarkable book sells millions of copies yearly, despite its venerable age, measurable in millennia. It is therefore understandable that we study the bible in a challenging liberal arts program at a Lutheran school.

Wait, something’s wrong here! I can tell you about the influence of “the Deity” or YAH-WHEH in the lives of the Hebrew people. I can describe a city as it was set up in biblical times from an archeological perspective. I can tell you how every type of food was prepared, except for fish. No one seems to know how Moses cooked his fish. Yet while attending a Lutheran College, I cannot say that I am guided towards or even meant to growing in my faith. If this is the case, that more value is placed in the knowledge of science and history than the development of the human being in a mental and spiritual context, why am I being educated?

If Kerry Wins... I'm moving to Mexico

2004-11-03T10:24:00.000-06:00

As my roommate succinctly put it, "Its not that I'm anti-Kerry, it’s that I'm pro-America."

I'd agree. Since four years of Kerry's incompetent rule would erase what we now as America from the face of the civilized world, I might as well move to Mexico now and get that citizenship thing all straightened out. Vincente Fox, that’s my man! (Go Coca Cola!) But Mexico is on the way up. They've started to get rid of their slums, poverty, and all that. They're starting to enter the world economy in a bigger, more positive way. They're getting rid of their debt. Their citizens are industrious and hardworking, don't object to menial tasks, place value in familial relationships, and still believe in God, as a whole. I think I'll like living there. Besides, I'll be speaking Spanish there, which is like being in Heaven.

I should hurry up and post this. Perhaps by the time blogger processes my request, the vote will be decided. I congratulate all you conservatives. Thanks for going out to vote, and for standing up for what is right. I console all you liberals. Thanks for doing your civic duty, standing up for your beliefs, and voting as well. I shall be here, waiting with congratulations and open arms to welcome you in, once you mature and find the truth that man, instinctively, and so avidly seeks.

Literary Me!

2004-11-01T10:28:00.000-06:00

~Kinda like "Magical Me,"
---but I would hope that I am not quite as arrogant as the Gilderoy Lockhart of the children's book series
"Harry Potter and the blah blah blah.”

I've written a lot recently, well, more than is customary. But then, what is custom, since randomness and irregularity power this spontaneous and rather dull lifestyle? It doesn't seem like that much to me... at least right now. But then the effects of staying up until 2:30 this morning writing haven't set in yet! I'm sure you all, or most, or some, or a few of you are glad I'm posting... It's very nice, after all to see that other people have written new stuff. `Gives you something to read when you're surfing the WWW in class (or else where, cuz who in their right mind would be online in class when there are so many interesting things to be learned if you just pay attention?)

So yes... Browse to your heart's content. Leave me comments!!! I'd love to hear from ya! ~and make sure you check out my "Globe Trotting" and "Little Lessons" sections. In them, I proudly present more ramblings from this Village Idiot's jumbled mind, but in a more categorical setup {if you want to call it that!}

In the meantime, I must go shower. They are planning to turn off the hot water today. I must bathe before then. Besides, I've finally gotten over my fear of excercise machines and working out with other people around. My fear of being the slowest, weakest one on the mountain convinced me to get rid of my summer legs! Pain builds character. I'd rather build character now than waste my time on the slopes doing so when I could be having fun. Besides, the janitor isn't due for another hour and there is no one in the dorm right now. What better time than now?

Blue Funk Week

2004-10-31T23:49:00.000-06:00

It’s blue funk week. The week after a break is always rough. Having a paper due three days after a visit home isn't very helpful either. Don't professors understand that we are just coming back from seeing our friends and family for the first time? Can't they understand that longing and lament are the most common emotions after freshman realize the life they are missing out on, having left home and high school behind (hopefully)?

Oh well. Hell week is over. I can once again look forward to going home this weekend. Yay snowboarding!!!! It will be fun and exciting. And then I will be sad. And I will have the second draft of yet-another-paper-from-hell due. What a recipe for disaster!!

Some advice that my well-informed muse passed my way: If it’s blue funk week for you- get your biggest project out of the way. Exercise- sneak into the workout room after everyone has left to go party for the night. Or walk 20 minutes to get to your car, and then go on a nice, long relaxing drive in the country at high speeds, watching out for cows, sheeps, and farm equipment ~preferably with a radio that works.

Pray for me next week! That I survive yet another Blue Funk Hell Week, yes. But more so that I don't break something or fall off a lift this weekend at Copper Mountain Resort, in the good ole Rocky Mountains!